The Eternal Postdoc

Surviving the Academic Interview: Tips and Suggestions

2010-06-19T11:02:00.000-05:00

I just returned from my latest academic interview. As the experience is fresh on my mind, I'd thought I would blog about my own perspective in tackling this process - my experiences, and hoping that others will add their comments. I think sometimes the whole process is a black box and although there are some great resources out there, in the end it appears to be a little bit discipline and region specific. So assuming in my case, you are in Canada and applying for a medically related faculty position, here goes my suggestions.

1. Be prepared: The obvious one for sure. But this is really the take home message, and will evident through all my tips. If you aren't prepared, it shows.

2. Be yourself: There is sometimes this belief that you have to put on your 'game face' for these interviews. My suggestions is not to. The people interviewing you are looking to see your fit as a colleague and if you come across as something you are not, it is likely not going to work in your benefit. On the same vein, although you want to play up what you've been able to achieve, there is sometimes a fine line between being honest about your experience, and being arrogant. It is important to find that balance.

3. Research the institution and the department carefully: First, you need to know if this is a place you are willing to go, and more importantly, if you can be successful there. Look for potential collaborators - in my experience this often occurs via technique rather than subject area. Understand the strengths of the department, even if it isn't in your subject area. Look up the courses offered by the department and be prepared to discuss what courses you feel uniquely qualified to instruct.

4. Be enthusiastic. Again, a bit of a fine line. You want the people you are meeting to be excited about your subject area, and the best way is to be excited yourself. But it has to be genuine. Hopefully at this point, you really like what you do and it has to show.

5. Know how you will separate your research from that of your mentors. You should have already had this discussion with your mentor, and it should be clear how you can conduct your research independently and with a unique niche to ensure funding.

6. Be friendly to everyone. One interesting point that was pointed out to me was that often search committees will ask research support staff who arranged the interview about their interactions with the candidates. Usually, this is easy, because the support staff is an important and generally very friendly group, but its important to note that during an interview, its your interactions with everyone that matter.

7. Don't be afraid to ask for feedback. If you've been through another interview, it often doesn't hurt to ask for feedback from that group. They often bring up both strengths and weaknesses that you may not see. Also, give your presentation to colleagues who often give important feedback on positive changes you could make.

8. Ask questions. I had to learn this one myself. I used to be so focused on selling myself I didn't realize that I was also interviewing them. Ask things you really would like to know if you are going to this location i.e. what is the graduate student population made up of, what are the research support services?, what is the teaching/service loads? What do you think constitutes a good research plan?

Other than that, for my own mental health, I try to keep these things in mind. Every academic interview is unique thus they rarely follow the exact same schedule of events. Be able to roll with the punches. Things may not go smoothly, and how you react to changes and bumps will be assessed. And lastly, there will be likely other candidates coming in, and in the end their qualifications on paper will be as good or better than yours. Thus, do your best, and the rest is really out of your hands.

If this is you, good luck!

Honesty is the best policy: Giving your postdoc a valid judgement

2010-06-15T09:53:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, I gave a talk at a national conference about postdoctoral fellows in this country, and our lack of academic career progression. Now that I'm doing the final preparations for my academic interview, I am looking for a reason to take a break, and one of the comments during the discussion period keeps nagging away in my grey matter. One of the postdocs who attended my presentation commented that in general, mentors and other academics are unreasonably optimistic about the career opportunities of current postdocs in academia. That no one seems willing or able to say what many postdocs need to hear - your CV isn't strong enough to make the transition to academia, thus you need to be looking elsewhere.

I had never thought of it that way, but in my experience it is true. Are academics too nice? Are they uninformed or delusional about the opportunities within their own field? Are they afraid that being honest with their postdocs will result in their 'leaving them in the lurch' to move into alternate careers? I think all those are in play.

Whatever the reason, the result is the same. A largely uninformed and oblivious senior graduate student and early postdoc population, and a largely disillusioned senior postdoc population. When I quote the (outdated) statistic that less than 20% of graduating PhDs will become academics, I am nearly always met with shock, and then skepticism. I can nearly hear the wheels turning - Well, that might be right, but certainly I will be able to get that position.... Let's be realistic, if you have 10 postdocs in your department, it means that AT BEST, 2 will be successful in securing the academic position. That's a little simplistic, I know because many graduating PhD's do not go into a postdoc phase thus self select themselves out - and no good statistics exists on how many POSTDOCS are able to secure the positions they seek. But its still a minority.

So, how do you know if you don't make the cut? Often you decide that on your own, usually based on lack of success in the academic search. A really awesome mentor would tell you , "Look, you're a solid researcher, but you do not have the CV to make that transition right now. Either you publish X number of first authored pubs, or you need to make other career plans". Sounds harsh, right? No more harsh than X number of academic applications without a single interview, each one chipping away at your self confidence. I have read that the greatest indicator of your potential success in securing an academic position is being short listed for other positions. If you get the interviews, eventually you will likely get a position. If not, you need to look elsewhere. But that process can take YEARS.

Thus, I would advocate for this.... Mentors, you need to be cruel to be kind.

Preparing for an Academic Interview

2010-06-13T16:12:00.000-05:00

As a postdoc seeking my first 'real' job, an academic interview is a very nerve-wracking thing. Getting the interview is often the biggest hurdle, because it means you've 'made the cut' from the initial stack of applications (which I've heard can range from 100-400 per position here in Canada), through the 'long-list' where they actually consider what your references think about you to the ultimate 'short list' - the interview. Typically, this means your one of about 3 applicants vying for the job. You would think that this is pretty good odds, but twice I've made it this far, only to have the position go to another (likely more suitable) applicant. Maybe in my case, the third times the charm. In reality it means that the other applicants are as good as you are on paper, and your chance to push the tide in your favor is during this interview process. It means physically going to the place where the position is offered, and meeting multiple members of the department and doing the infamous 'job talk' - a one hour presentation on your previous/current research and where you forsee your own independent research going.

In the past, I've had a couple of things that were working against me. My field of research, although a wonderful and exciting topic, doesn't fit well into one specific department, thus I have found myself trying to sell myself and my research as fitting in. This current position is in the one department where my research clearly 'fits'. Check. Also, inexperience in interviewing has been clearly addressed, and now I know what to expect, and hope that this time I can 'nail' it. I also don't feel the desperation that I have felt in the past - I have consciously made the decision that if I am not successful in securing a position this summer, it will likely mean that I am meant to have a position outside of academia, and several other opportunities have already begun to trickle in. I think honestly I am in my best position currently to put my best foot forward.

That doesn't mean that my nights from here to then will not be sleepless.

The Eternal Search to leave postdoc-dom

2010-06-11T08:30:00.000-05:00

So I haven't been as good as I should be about blogging. My excuse is that my number 1 job has been to leave the postdoc world and enter the 'real' world. Now I realize that this might be an interesting topic for some, especially those considering a similar leap.

OK, first the gripe. I have been actively 'looking' for a job for two years of my nearly six as a postdoc. That equals A LOT of applications, so many that I have really stopped counting. At first I was fixated on the 'academic track' - the largely touted but largely untrue belief that the only successful end to a postdoc career is a tenure track faculty position. I have what you might call a successful CV (curriculum vitae, fancy word for academic focused resume) and should in all seriousness be able to get a good position. I have been through the whole academic search process (i.e. deemed good enough for an interview) twice, both at an institution where I completed my early graduate work. Both times, I felt like the interviews went well, and both times the position went to another candidate. So, I continued to apply for positions, but felt that if this university (where people knew me and gave me indications that I could make a good PI) didn't want me, then who would? So I began an earnest look outside of academia. Because of my background in translational medical research, I thought I had some options. I have applied for biotech positions (and went through two rounds of interviews at one company, with the position going to someone with industrial experience), policy positions in government and jobs in non-profit agencies. I have exponentially increased my number of applications.

Now the good news. I have started to get interviews! First some nibbles from good positions outside of academia, and most recently, a new interview for a faculty position! So, off I go to sell myself and my research again. I am finally in a place where I feel like I could be making a transition. Maybe that's a good excuse to blog more often. Because I feel this transition could get interesting.

Stay tuned!

Canada and the Olympics

2010-03-01T10:44:00.000-05:00

So the 21st Winter Olympics are done! I must say that I really enjoyed watching the games this year. Of course, being Canadian, and having the games in my home country, it really did fill me with a sense of pride. This is my two cents worth on the games.

I think the games went well. The events were fun to watch, and the athletes for the most part participated with respect and dignity. No games are perfect, and we were a perfect example.
I feel so sorry about the luge athelete from Georgia. My thoughts are with his family and country and we his name will be ever tied to these games
I'm very proud of my country. I guess that might be a surprise to some people in the world, this surge of nationalism, but not to me. We didn't need to 'own the podium', although I think that funding for sport is a good thing for all Canadians. We need to focus on sport and play and getting off our collective butts. And we can do good things. I think the Americans and Germans, who got more medals than we did, also did a fantastic job, so kudos. But we also got more medals than we ever have, and more golds than anyone in history. We need to celebrate that as our victory.
Is there anything better than that Gold medal Hockey game?! It was a nail biter and really fun to watch. And I'm not really a big hockey fan.
I will miss watching this every night, but look forward to the paralympics games in a couple of week.

It's been a blast so thanks to the world for coming and to Vancouver for hosting. See ya in 2014 in Russia!

When parents put ignorance ahead of their kids health

2010-03-01T09:29:00.000-05:00

This morning I read this story about the level of knowledge that parents have about vaccines and their potential side effects.

These kind of stories make me fume. Let me explain why. As a scientist, I'm trained as an immunologist, and I study how the immune system works. Honestly, besides increased hygiene, vaccines have saved millions from the scourge of infectious disease. Back in 1776 when Edward Jenner was the first reported use of using an attenuated virus to protect against a more serious one, 30% of people were dying from smallpox and those who survived were often horribly disfigured from the pox scars. In the time since then, we have spent time and energy in ways to prevent these infections, primarily in the young, who are susceptible to being killed by these infections. They do a very good job. The infant mortality rate in infants now is significantly lower than it was 250 years ago, and vaccines are a huge part of that.

Then there was the idiot story in the Lancet that stated that vaccines were linked to autism and the anti-vaccine movement started. It doesn't matter that the science is so flawed that 10 of the 13 authors have retracted their support of the paper and after 12 years, the journal FINALLY retracted the paper entirely. But the damage has been done. Celebrities like Jenny McCarthy says vaccines are bad, and she's famous - so she can't be wrong? Gimme a break!

I can understand that autism is a frustrating and devastating disorder and the fact that we cannot pin a cause to it, makes things like vaccines a good target. But it is a false one. It is one where parents, by refusing to vaccinate their children, are potentially putting their lives at risk. Not only those of their children, but the lives of others too. If we want our children to have 'natural' exposure to diseases, we are going to have to accept that children will succumb to those diseases, unnecessarily. No thank you. I have children in my life that I care for, and I will not accept the risk that they will get preventable infections that their bodies cannot handle. All parents looking to jump on the anti-vaccine bandwagon should also consider this, carefully.

Catching cancer: Lessons from the Tasmanian Devil

2010-01-19T15:26:00.003-05:00

So, lately I have decided to stay 'up to date' on the latest 'cool science' by listening to the Science magazine podcast. I must admit that I often download these podcasts and rarely get the opportunity to listen to them, but on the plane flying back to Ottawa last night, I picked it up again.

So, this month in Science magazine (abstract found here and Time magazine article found here) there was a manuscript that describes the genetic analysis of a strange tumour found in the marsupial, the Tasmanian Devil. We usually associate this animal with the crazy animated Looney Toon, but in reality, they are an endangered species, partially due to a facial cancer that is passed from animal to animal through biting. These tumours get so large, that the animal ends up dying of starvation. However, what's interesting is that is transmitted from animal to animal. It is also not associated with any virus, such as cancers in humans like HPV and cervical cancer. Also, cancers that are transmitted in this way are relatively rare in nature. There is another cancer in dogs that is sexually transmitted that if you're interested in you can learn more about here.

This Science report demonstrates that this Tasmanian Devil tumour is actually derived from Schwann Cells. For those of you who aren't scientists, these are the cells that produce myelin, a protein that protects the neurons in the brain and spinal cord, and is destroyed in multiple sclerosis. The authors hope that determining this will help the animals by providing a genetic test for the disease. In the wild, they are also trying to protect the devils by producing areas where the cancer containing animals are no longer present, or cancer-free islands.

As a cancer researcher, this is cool stuff. I have heard of the role of viruses in cancer, but a cancer passed from one individual to another just by the cancer itself is unique. And all in a little marsupial. Makes you wonder how much else we can learn from nature if we just open our eyes.

Mourning in Ottawa

2010-01-04T18:24:00.004-05:00

This week there will be a memorial service to honor a police officer that was killed in the line of duty here in Ottawa. The service is expected to be attended by many police officers from across North America.

I am so saddened by this incident. The last time that a police officer was killed on duty here in Ottawa was in the early 80's. By all accounts, Const. Eric Czapnik was an amazing man who brought great honor to the uniform that he proudly wore. Although I never knew this man, I feel horrible for his family who must be suffering under this great loss. I cannot help but feel sad for them - and for the city.

It also reminds me of a similar memorial service that I attended a couple of years ago, in the wake of Hurricane Juan. During that storm, a paramedic named John Michael Rossiter was killed when a tree pierced his ambulance. A member of the Dalhousie Medical School Choir, we sang at his public memorial service. As it is so unusual for a paramedic to be killed on the job, his memorial was attended by both paramedics and police officers from across North America. I remember the sea of uniforms paying tribute to one of their own. I guess it is yet another connection, considering that here in Ottawa, paramedics fought so valiantly to save the fallen police officer. But more importantly, I remember meeting Mr. Rossiter's family, and their palpable grief. As a fellow Newfoundlander, I got the opportunity to pay my condolences in person. In a weird irony, we knew some of the same people. During that hazy, post-storm time, it remains one of my sharpest memories.

I hope that Constable Czapnik's family can take in the outpouring of support that exists here in Ottawa. May he rest in peace.

Getting back into the swing of things

2010-01-02T11:05:00.002-05:00

So, as I stated yesterday, my first resolution was to be healthy. So here is my plan.

In January, I have two short term goals.

1. Track what I eat - I need to understand what my food issues are in black and white.

2. Exercise 6 times a week - I'm used to training for triathlon, so this may seem extreme, but not so much. I'm not going to worry about the intensity of the workouts for this month, just to do the six consistently.

I had also heard that the best way to get into a routine that works is to automate things (Thanks, Dr. Oz). This makes a lot of sense to me, so I'm going to attempt to automate as much as I can. Stick to a set breakfast and lunch routine. The easiest way to do that is to plan ahead for my lunches. I've separated portions of veggies that I can just grab in the morning, and we've make lunches of home-made soup and chili (thanks to my excellent cook husband) so my lunches are easy. Then for my exercise, my plan is to the following exercises on the following week days, hoping to start a good workout routine;

Monday - strength video
Tuesday - Run
Wednesday - Bike
Thursday - cardio video
Friday - off
Saturday - swim
Sunday - Run

From experience, this seems like a good plan for me. Today I went back to the pool for the first time since the summer. It feels fantastic. Although I find swimming challenging, its a good use of workout time, and I find that I can relax my mind while I'm swimming. Having a small pool in my apartment building is certainly a good thing!

Wish me luck!

New Year.... 2010.... Resolutions?

2010-01-01T15:54:00.003-05:00

So, its a new year, a new decade even. I usually do not do the whole resolution thing, but this year I figured, why not? So, here are my resolutions for 2010.

1. Get healthy - eat less, exercise more.

2. Take the stairs at work instead of the elevator.

3. Bring my reusable mug to my coffee break.

4. Focus on every day, make the most of it. Tomorrow will come all on its own.

5. Write more in my blog. Writing helps me focus.

6. Treasure my family and friends. Think before I open my mouth.

I think that if I can follow these few guidelines, my success and happiness in 2010 is assured.

Happy New Year!

Blogging back... emerging from postdoc limbo...

2009-12-23T19:32:00.002-05:00

Well it took an insurgency of Asian ads invading my blog to realize how much I missed this outlet. So, it will be my early and hopefully ongoing 2010 resolution to get back to my blog, and maybe to take it into a new direction.

First of all, I am still a postdoc. Five years and counting. Blah.

However, the good news is that I have an upcoming interview! A faint light at the end of this tunnel. I will keep you posted.

I am now married, and I have a partner in limbo. A very good thing.

I have so many things to blog about, but tonight I am enjoying the bliss of pre-holiday sloth. Will enlighten later.

Happy Holidays, blogosphere!

To strike or not to strike.... a question of sense

2009-01-26T18:52:00.003-05:00

So I live in Ottawa. I don't own a car. Thus I'm in a state of continuing annoyance over the Ottawa OC Transpo (Public Transit) strike. For those not in Ottawa, we are currently on day 48 of the strike.

This sucks, and sucks bad. Luckily, I have options. My fiance has a car. He also has a work schedule that is often completely contrary to mine. However, I can usually find someone at the lab heading my way, and the university-sponsored shuttle runs by my apartment. I have options. I feel for those people without options. People who have to get to work and until December 10th, 2008 depended on public transit to get there. People with low income or people who made a conscious effort to live a 'greener' existence.

Right now the public is being used as pawns in a very public pissing match between the mayor and the union leader. Neither seem to be capable of considering the tax payers, the transit users, while they hurl insults and rhetoric back and forth. I'm not sure when this will be over, but I hope in the end neither end up rewarded for this behavior.

I do believe that basic public transportation should be deemed an essential service. However, as OC Transpo runs from Ottawa into Gatineau (thus officially going over provincial borders) its a federal rather than provincial responsibility. And we all know the federal government has its own problems.

However, our provincial government is busy trying to deal with another strike, a faculty strike at York University. I can't say I'm well versed in the issues here, but I can't fathom why the government is required to step in on this labour dispute. I don't think that it counts as an 'essential' service. The students involved of course have the option to take their money and pursue their education elsewhere. I wouldn't want to see them lose their semester, but it is a semester - not their lives! They aren't walking up to 6 hours to keep a job that feeds their family. They aren't braving -30oC wind chill. They are inconvenienced. I am worried that the province stepping in is sending a dangerous precedent to all universities in Ontario. If you don't want to negotiate with your employees - don't. Just wait a bit and let the province legislate you back to work - for the 'student'

So, as the rights of York University faculty are being stripped, I'm shivering in Ottawa with zero public transportation.

Fair? I think not.

Blog Neglect.... Gazing into eternity

2009-01-23T19:13:00.003-05:00

Well, I have been neglecting my blog, but I have some great excuses.

1. I've been looking for a way out of postdoc eternity - by applying for jobs! No success just yet, but after tons of applications, I have gotten an interview. It was quite a learning experience, but to date, my first faculty job has not materialized. But I am still hopeful.

2. I am engaged! Amazingly between experiments and training I've managed to truly meet my match. I'm ecstatic and we're planning a wedding in September.

3. Training! I completed two triathlons last year (one I did as a relay, one on my own). I survived.

So, I've been thinking about my blog for a while, and now I'm back!!!

Be prepared!!

Happy Canada Day: Time for a new start!

2008-07-01T09:50:00.002-05:00

I am living in Ottawa - Canada Day central. I am on my way out to the celebrations so I may report on that later. I can say that just having come back from a trip to Europe, I am even more proud to be Canadian. I loved Germany, and saw so many things that Canada could do better, but I was also taken aback by the great welcome I got from people who heard I was Canadian. We must be doing something right, by the world standards. I'm so happy to be Canadian!!

So, to say the last month or so has been hard for training would be an understatement. I have been totally OFF training for over a month. First I had an overwhelming allergic reaction. It was hives all over, and that left me drained, sick and tired. After a lot of trial and error and figuring out, I have discovered that I am allergic to artificial sweeteners. Man, easy to cut out of my diet and I have... I'm so glad to have my skin back!

I was in Europe for 2 weeks, primarily in Germany. On the flight over, I caught a cold. I spent most of the first week suffering while I was at the conference. Then I felt a bit better but for the second week, the crappy feeling held on. With all the travelling, sleeping poorly, partying too hard, I never got better. On the way back, I started to feel horrible again, and a bad cough had developed. I was only home for a couple of days and then off to San Francisco for work. The cough held on (actually got worse, not helped by all the smoke from wild fires in San Fran) and when I came back I went straight to the doctor. He told me I have a sinus infection and now I'm finally on antibiotics!! Onward and upward to good health.

On the training front, my first race is this Saturday!! Holy unprepared! I haven't done much directed training in 5 weeks! Luckily in this race, I'm doing a relay with 2 guys from work. I'm the runner, running 6.4 km. Shouldn't be too bad, except its mostly uphill!! I hope to get in a couple training runs this week and wing it. As long as I feel better, I can push myself through that race for sure.

But starting today, I'm back on the training train. My own focus race is the St. John's Tri on August 11, while I'm home. Luckily I have a decent base from all winter, and now all I need to do is pull the lead out of my ass and get back to it.

Wish me luck!!

Europe summary to come!!

Some weeks are just hell

2008-05-18T17:24:00.002-05:00

So, this past week was pretty hellish for me.

It's amazing how many things can happen to one person. Here is my personal rundown.

1. Migraine: I suffer from migraines so this isn't much of a surprise. I get them at the pace of about 1 per month so I was due one. This one at least I knew how to deal with. I can't take any of the classical migraine meds, but I do take OTC (over the counter) pain relievers and when it gets very bad, I combine them with gravol which knocks me out. I managed to get rid of this one after 2 days, which was pretty good for me.

2. Skin issues: So, I've had this little spot on my arm for a while now that I've been ignoring. It didn't itch, didn't hurt and I had decided for quite a while that I had burned it and this was the healing process. Well eventually it had grown to be noticeable and has been diagnosed as ringworm. I've learned A LOT about this in the past week. Its caused by a fungal infection, the same that causes athletes foot and jock itch (fun, eh?). Usually you get it from pets but as all of my pets don't have it (and since they have been indoors, are unlikely to come across it), the most likely culprit was gym equipment. I have learned that I will no longer use common gym equipment (as there is in my apartment) without spraying it down first. Just a tip to anyone else out there. I've also learned that its a lot more common out there, but people never seem to talk about it.

3. Allergies: Around the time that I diagnosed the spot on my arm, I started getting spots all over my body, these little raised welts. I first thought that this was related to my arm, and frankly freaked right out! I was infested!! However, I have since learned that ringworm just isn't contagious enough to spread to my body in this manner and what I actually have is hives (thanks to TWO walk in clinic trips, and the accompanying waits). I've never had an allergic reaction to anything in my life, but my sister has and what I have on me does resemble hives, now that I look at it rationally. Finding the cause of the hives, is challenging at best. I have now limited it down to two likely possibilities; new laundry detergent that I got a couple of weeks ago, and exercise. I have found that vigorous exercise (such as the ramp up training I've been doing) can trigger hives in some people. Strange, but wouldn't surprise me since I'm pushing myself to my limit just as the weather is heating up. The stress hasn't helped either. Hopefully this is on its way out, and just relaxing about it is helping.

4. Cold: As if all of the above wasn't bad enough, I ended up with a cold also. This one has been making the rounds, and finally it got me.Anyone who knows me, knows that I usually get a cold at the drop of the hat but for some reason, since moving to Ottawa, I have managed to stay cold-free. So much for a good run. I have ended up sleeping most of the weekend (thanks in large part to the Benadryl for the allergies) and now I finally feel OK.

So, by mid week I stopped training and focused on what my body might really be telling me - SLOW DOWN AND REST!! Sometimes you get on a track that only heads in one direction and you just don't take care of yourself. Somehow your body always knows how to put you in your place. This week, my body was speaking loud and clear.

Thank goodness tomorrow is a holiday and I can ease myself back into the craziness.

Take care everyone!!

Happy Mother's Day.

2008-05-11T17:30:00.002-05:00

Today is Mother's Day. Today, I miss being closer (geographically) to my mom. It also makes me think about all of the women in my life. I have come from a very woman focused family. I certainly have strong male role models, but by in large, my family is predominantly women. I have a sister (and a brother), my mom has 3 sisters, her mom (pictured above) only sisters, my paternal grandmother has only sisters, and of my cousins, there are 2 boys and 7 girls, of which I am the oldest. The newest generation of my family currently counts at 6 girls and 2 boys. I am godmother to two beautiful girls. Currently, we are a family of women.

Today, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my grandmother, in the above photo. She died almost 2 years ago, and her loss is still acutely felt. She was certainly a strong woman among women. She has taught me so much about what it is to be a strong and successful person, and it was her who lived the example that happiness has little to do with money and things. In the last years of her life, while I was living 'away', we communicated by letters. Those letters are among my most cherished possessions. She was far from perfect; she was stubborn and beautifully imperfect, and that's what made her even more the influence on me. She was one of my biggest supporters and it is hard not to believe in yourself when she believed so strongly that you could do ANYTHING. I can only hope to similarly influence people in my life.

However, its very hard to think of my Nan is gone. She is so not gone. She lives eternally in us. She lives in our ways - our sayings, our mannerisms, our successes, our good and bad habits. She is us and we are her.

April Training Totals

2008-05-02T09:00:00.002-05:00

April has been both a busy and productive month for my training. Now that spring is here, getting outside to run is less of a chore, and I can finally get my bike out, although my first foray out resulted in a flat tire. I'm happy with where I am so far, and the totals show it.

Swim 11.4km
Run 53km
Bike 325 km

I'm by no means an elite athlete, but I'm doing hard work and feeling good about it.

Newfoundlander and proud, yet again

2008-04-29T12:48:00.002-05:00

NEWFOUNDLAND TO BECOME A 'HAVE' PROVINCE

The argument that I hear over and over again, is that Newfoundland is somehow less of a province, because of it 'have not' status.

Well SUCKERS.... Despite the federal government's broken promises, despite out migration, despite 'Newfie' jokes... Our province is set to become a HAVE province.

Well, well, well.... its ABOUT FRIGGIN TIME!!! To all of the ignorant people across this country who believe that Newfoundland is filled with lazy, unproductive, EI collecting has-beens, how do you explain this?!

In reality, Newfoundlanders are a proud group of extremely hard working people. We will do anything, ANYTHING, to get ahead for ourselves and our families. This often requires packing up and going to the work. In the past this has been Toronto, and more recently Alberta. I can only hope that this change in our financial outlook will start bringing these people (including myself, incidentally) HOME!!

So, as to everyone else, stand up and take notice. When other areas of the country are predicting 'economic slowdowns', we're predicting surpluses, and paying down debt. Not bad, for a bunch a "Newfies".....

Triathlon Training Woes

2008-04-01T11:39:00.002-05:00

Training totals:

Februrary 2008
Cycle 296.3 km
Swim 7.4 km
Run 44.75 km

March 2008
Cycle 141 km
Swim 2.6 km
Run 15.5 km

So, it is obvious from the above totals that I was doing fairly well in Febrary, as per the plan, and March was not nearly as hot. The main reason was my health. Early in March, I fell while skiing and gave my tail bone a hard smack. This left me in pain for a while. After a weeks rest I attempted to get back to training, but pain caused me cut back again. Then I was struck with a huge migraine, worse than I have had in a while. That kept me from doing many things in my life, including working out. Now, finally in the past week I've been able to get back onto the working out train. Maybe its a sign of spring. I'm back!!

Hope all is well!!

Canada's Disregard of Science

2008-02-22T09:54:00.002-05:00

Today this article appeared on the CBC website.

The journal Nature (which for all the non-science type) is basically the pinnacle of all scientific journals, talks about Canada's lack of support for science in general, particularly that of the Conservative Government. Since they have been in power, they have fired their science advisor, and disregarded the science on many different decisions in favor of their agenda (i.e. Kyoto accord, Chalk River nuclear site).

Why does Canada need strong support of Science? Well, think of what you want of your country. Research like what I do does not happen in Canada by Canadians unless the government supports Science. Your next treatments for cancer, HIV, arthritis, the common cold, all does not progress if our government does not put an emphasis on Science. Decisions on your health and welfare should not be made only on the opinion of politicians, but should be in the consult of experts in the given feild. Despite their own opinions, they are not experts on everything... Do you want your elected official making uninformed decisions on your health care, nuclear safety, sustainability of the fishery, farming methods, ethics of stem cell cloning, safety of drugs?

Obviously I have a stake in this. I have spent my life training to be a scientist. And told all the way through that I was needed in this country. Now, with a change of government, I am no longer a good commodity here. Sad.

How many reasons do we need to make a change? There HAS to be a better way.

Do not CLICK HERE!!

2008-02-21T15:15:00.002-05:00

I've had a blog for over a year, and from time to time gotten great comments from friends and even some really nice anonymous words of encouragement. However, I have never gotten comments like the ones I have had to delete from my last post. Three times in the past week, fake bloggers have posted comments on my dog show blog, with one comment... click HERE. The here leads to porn sites. This pisses me off so much. I mean porn is the easiest thing to find on the internet, so why do these people need to come onto my innocuous blog and peddle their smut? I've had two 'bloggers' do this, one called 'Ivan' and another 'marabei'. In reality, its just a front. So, if you do read a comment on my blog that directs you to somewhere else, don't bother to click it. I don't want my blog to be used to earn a single penny for these idiots. And if one of these idiots are reading this, bugger off!! Get a real job and leave my blog alone. Plus, I get an email after each comment, so go bother someone else. I can delete you, AND I WILL.

Best in show.... the beagle!!

2008-02-13T10:30:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to "Uno" the winner of 'Best in Show' at the Westminster Dog Show in New York. It's the first time in the Dog Show's history that a Beagle has won best in show. I've always been an animal lover, and had a soft spot for Beagles as my Dad has bred them in the past. We still have several at home. I love these dogs, and I got caught up watching this dog show when I saw the beagles. It was worth staying up late to see Uno, who was obviously the crowd favorite win. When he heard the crowd cheering he broke out in his response... Baying... It was awesome! I love dogs, but this just solidified for me that if I am ever to own one in the future, I'd go with a beagle. Now, I'd have to wait, as my cats woundn't be too happy about it, nor would my latest addition, a 4 year old ferret. But someday.

They are great dogs. They are a bit noisy, and need some training to keep them in line. But they are bar NONE the cutest puppies in the world, and are so loving and a huge part of a family. I'm looking for a dog to be a running partner, and a beagle would be awesome... Small enough to curl up with you on the couch, but big enough to play.

However at home, beagles aren't always treated that well. We bred beagles as hunters (of rabbits) and one of the reasons we stopped is that we no longer felt that we could ensure good and stable homes for our dogs. Some people (who I have no respect for) will get a dog and use it to hunt and then either abandon or mistreat it once it has served its purpose. These people aren't fit to have a pet in my opinion. Luckily at home in Newfoundland there are Beagle Paws (click HERE to see their website), an organization that rescues and places Beagles. If you really want to support a great organization, this is one I would recommend.

Congrats UNO!! Beagles rock!

My first week back in 'real' training

2008-02-11T09:58:00.000-05:00

OK, first off, I have yet to weight myself this week... I will .... soon, I promise.

This week I started the 'scale up' part. This was technically the slowest week, but it certainly left me wiped. Two workouts of bike, swim and run; one short, one long. The short ones were easy, the long ones tough. I actually (bad me) skipped my long swim in favor of a long skate on the canal. I don't feel so bad about that because the skating was a great workout and I'm feeling that one.

This month will be hard, and I'll be tired a lot. I remember this from the past two years. I also didn't anticipate how hard it would be to limit my diet during this phase. My body is telling me "wow, you're kicking this up a notch so gimme more food" and I'm trying to tell my body "well, actually we're trying to lose weight here". Right now, its difficult. I do pretty well during the week but on the weekends, I falter. I don't go into binge mode or anything, I just am not nearly as careful. Baby steps.

This morning I started week 2 with a short (26 min) run; with a windchill of -29oC. Man, if anyone out there doubts my persistence, try that one on for size. By the time I got home, there was a big feeling of accomplishment!!

Have a great week!

My first time... skating on the Rideau Canal

2008-02-04T19:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I did something that should be officially mandated as a rite of passage while living in Ottawa - skating on the Rideau Canal. I have had my skates with me as I've moved from place to place, but this is the first time in many years that I've had the opportunity to use them. So, I decided that since I would be downtown at church, instead of taking the bus home, I'd walk to the canal and skate home. I also forgot my bus pass so I couldn't chicken out.

Around noon on a sunny Sunday, the canal was pretty packed, and I was worried about ending up promptly on my posterior. I got to the canal and got my skates on and up on them. Man, I don't remember skating being so hard!! I shuffled along for a bit and got my bearings. The ice surface was much better than the pond where I skated as a kid. I also don't remember it being such a workout!! By the time I skated the about 3k to my exit, I was wiped!! I'm also acknowledging that maybe my skates need a good sharpening. But thats on the top of my list. Skating is such a freeing thing... and as a good workout, its probably great cross training!!

I plan to do more skating on the canal. If you ever get the chance... Do it!!

One month down: New measurments

2008-02-04T08:17:00.000-05:00

So my first month is done. The scale still says 175. Oh well, I decided to go ahead and measure. I'm glad I did... Here they are.

Waist 33.5" (down 1")
Hips 40" (same)
Bust 39" (down 1")
Hamstring 22" (down 1")
Calf 15.5" (down 0.5")
bicep 10" (down 1")

So, that makes me feel pretty good!! I am getting somewhere.

Now the triathlon training starts in earnest. I'm still doing two workouts of each (2 bike, 2 swim, 2 run) but two things are changing.

1. Each week I do a long and short workout of each
2. 3 weeks of the month I increase my workout time by 10% (4th week I reduce by 30%)

I'm ready for it!!

Grant Writing

2008-02-02T17:55:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a very stormy day in my neck of the woods, so rather than trudge my way into the lab to do what I could do at home, in the warmth of my own apartment, I stayed home. I was actually productive. You see, I'm writing a grant. You see in Canada, I can't (as a postdoc) be the primary applicant on a grant, but I can be a co-applicant. This is fine by me, and since I plan to stay in academia (if I can) grant writing is a skill I need to master.

So yesterday I managed to completely do a detailed outline of my grant proposal and came to think that grants are funny things. You need to get them because without them, there is no money for your research. But what they want to fund you is a recipe for disaster, or a way for them to completely shut every potential new grant down.

Every grant proposal needs to have the following

1. An idea that is new, novel and groundbreaking
2. An idea that will not fail
3. An idea that you're the only person capable of doing.

Those are the broad strokes, so you can see how getting that first grant is so hard. The new and groundbreaking ideas in science aren't ususally the "guarenteed to work" kinda stuff. Everyone wants a grant that will outline the new 'next best thing', but only if you can be sure to deliver. Because we don't want to waste money on something that won't work. Also it has to be something only you can do... which is tricky, because up to now you're forced to work with someone else but once you're on your own, you have to completely strike it out on your own. So, without a track record of doing it on your own it becomes the circular "I can't get a job because I don't have experience - I can't get experience because I don't have a job" arguement.

So, the upshot of all of this is that I'm glad I'm writing this grant, and will continue to write as many as I can. That way, when its time to write my first one ALONE, I have some sort of track record writing successful grants with others (I hope!).

But that doesn't make it any easier to write.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

I had to try this... My political compass.

2008-01-31T14:02:00.000-05:00

Well here it is...

This is where I stand politically.

Wanna try yourself? DO IT HERE

Total for January 2008

2008-01-31T12:26:00.000-05:00

Ok, as I've been writing about, I'm trying to get back into my workout routine. Well its the end of January, and this is how I fared with my 'pre-training' training. Next week I'll start a ramp up type of schedule, but for January, I've kept it pretty low key.

So, here it is.

I SWAM 6.8 km
I RAN 50.8 km
I CYCLED 165 km.

I did some other workouts in there too, such as an eliptical and walk workout when the bike wasn't available.

I'm happy with it... Will be fun to see those numbers go up next month!!

End of week #4: Life interfers with ... well the best laid plans

2008-01-29T19:30:00.000-05:00

Hi all.... At the end of week 4 my weight is... you guessed it 175 lbs

I am beginning to embrace the number really...

This past week has been a challenge. I only got 5 of my 6 workouts in. Considering I had a migraine for a good portion of last week, I'm not going to beat myself up over that one.

This week I'm starting the point thing. I have found that it is very good at making me aware of what I eat, and what an actual serving size is. I'm happy so far.

Things are busy... When I say, BUSY, this is what I mean... Along with the 6 planned workouts, this is what I'm doing in the lab.

1. Finishing experiments: I have my first lab presentation upcoming. Thus I'm frantically working on the 4 projects I have running. Never enough hours of the day and I'd love to be doing this.

2. Writing a grant.... READ UGH!! I need to do it, but its painful.

3. LIFE! Trying to have a life, spending time with special people. Hard to do when you want to go to bed at 8pm.

4. My other commitments... These days my choir and the postdoc stuff... I never get to spend as much time working on these extracurricular stuff, so I try to be efficient with the time I spend at it.

Oh, and trying to lose 20 lbs!! No problem, right?!

Actually, despite the busyness, I'm happy. Things are going well, nothing to complain about.

Thanks for all of the encouragement.... It really makes me feel like putting this stuff out there is worth it!

End of Week 3: ugh...... FRUSTRATION!!!

2008-01-21T16:31:00.000-05:00

I meant to blog on this topic yesterday but with no real progress to report, I put it off... I got on the scale yesterday and again, it read 175 pounds... I'm so glad I have a thick skin, because now its getting to me. I can now see why people start trying to live a healthier life and fail.

But I am seeing a difference. On new years eve, I went to buy a new pair of dress pants, and it was very frustrating. I ended up buying a pair that I thought looked hideous on me, but would look nice if I lost some weight. They have been sitting in my closet ever since and every time I thought about wearing them, I recalled that they weren't comfortable when I had them on in the store. Well, today I wore them, and they were comfortable. They fit much better. So, I am making progress, even if the scale REFUSES to tell me that.

So this week, I did what I had set out to. I did my 6 workouts plus one strength training session (my upper body still hurts). I have been watching my eating habits, but it did fall apart a little over the weekend.

So, what is the next plan? Focus on my eating for the next week. This includes a focus on portion control. I'm getting some literature on how to calculate food intake and portion control (the word 'points' mean anything to anyone?). I think this will help focus me in my task. I've also seen positive effects on others I know.

I also realize that right now, my workouts aren't significantly increasing in intensity, something that will change once I start my formal training plan. Right now I'm doing pretty minimal working out (about 50k total on the bike, 10k running and 2k swimming in a week). When I start to train, this will increase every week, so I should also see increases in my effects on my body. So, as usual I'm not going to beat myself up about this.

My new motto.... big results require big changes. I'm ready to try something else.

Wish me luck!!

Goverment puts saving face ahead of safety

2008-01-16T11:11:00.000-05:00

Government fires head of CNSC for 'lack of leadership'

Ok stories like this one really get me angry.

Our government decides to fire the head of the Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission because they didn't like her decision to put the Chalk River Facility in safety violation that forced it to close. The government then voted to reopen it despite its safety violations to prevent a shortage of medical isotopes used in medical diagnosis and treatment, particularly in cancer.

Those are the facts. I understand that cancer patients need diagnosis and treatment, and I sympathize with those who were delayed because of the shutdown. But likely, no one will die because of that delay. However, just imagine if the issues at Chalk River were ignored, and there was a nuclear accident. Ok, think hard, Chernobyl. Do we want this in our country? The Canadian Nuclear Safety Commission has a mandate to keep this country SAFE. Safe from shoddy work with these deadly compounds. If there had been an accident, the CNSC would be strung up for not doing their job. Now, they do, and well the government (who knows absolutely NOTHING on the inherent risks of even operating this facility) fires the CNSC head, because it makes them look bad.

Just a couple of questions to ponder..

1. Where will the next safety problem be overlooked, because a head of a regulatory agency will have to weigh the options of doing their job and keeping it?

2. Is Chalk River safe? Is there any impetus, now that parliament has mandated its reopening, for it to be safe in the future?

3. Who will accept responsibility for Chalk River in the future?

4. Why is Canada responsible for providing 2/3 or the WORLDs isotopes?

5. Why is it that politicians now become experts in every field, and get to make these life or death decisions that may affect generations, long, long after their political tenure is done?

All I know is that today, I feel less safe knowing that politicians are the ones determining my nuclear risk.

End of week #2

2008-01-13T12:43:00.000-05:00

Okie

Its Sunday again, and I get on the scale... It reads 175lbs.
Damn. I haven't lost an ounce. So, as a woman, it reminds me why this is the first time that I've ever owned a scale. Depending on a scale to know if you are doing well is a bunch of crap. This week I've done well. After todays workout I'll have done all 6 planned workouts. I also had to learn that sometimes you have to substitute and be flexible (my pool was closed most of the week).

Ok, then why does the scale not reflect a good week? Not sure. I'm already beginning to feel better in my clothes and in my skin. I also realize that I'm probably not going to have drastic weight loss that some people have when they start a program. I've done a lot in the past couple of years to change my approach to fitness, thus even when I go 'off the wagon' I still eat reasonably well and work out. It takes a lot to gain weight (that 10 pounds I put on in 5 months is the result of cutting my workouts in half and eating way too many french fries and potato chips). Therefore, getting it off won't be a treat either.

In any case, I'm still happy about where I've gotten this past week. My goals for this upcoming week are to do my 6 workouts in 5 days and take 2 days off (which is more in line with my upcoming training plan) and to not buy any lunches at work, which tend to be a bit too 'naughty'.

Wish me luck!

Taking my blog into a new direction....

2008-01-06T13:50:00.001-05:00

OK, I've decided to use my blog for a new purpose. To track my progress in training, not just in kilometers and workouts, but on my body. I know, many, many people make the 'new years resolution' to lose weight. I guess technically I'm doing that too. But for a whole different set of reasons. I'm happy with my body - I have an hourglass figure and I love it. I have let about 10 pounds creep on since I finished training last year - but that happens. I want to really lose some weight to be a better triathlete. I have done two seasons of Tris and I know that I can finish the race. However, it has become more and more clear that I'm lugging around at least 20 extra pounds that if I lost, races would be so much easier. So, that is my goal. Twenty pounds.

So, this year I will be more serious about it, not just see weight loss as a happy consequence of training for a triathlon. So, here are my new set of changes that I'm willing to make to get there...

1. Portion control. I don't want to change what I eat, just how much. When I'm training I eat healthier, because if I don't, I feel like crap. Now I'll just be more aware of how much I eat, and why.

2. Breakfast. I will eat a good breakfast every day, easy for me.

3. Mid-day snack. I will have a healthy snack at mid day (3-4 pm) which will prevent binging at dinner

4. I will work out 6 times a week. I have met this goal this past week, and will continue to do that too. For January, I'll do 'minimal' workouts (two swims at about 1k each, 2 5K runs and 2 20k bike rides) and then start an escalating schedule in February, which will set me up to compete in races in June.

5. I will indulge once a week, because I'm not into self denial so much.

6. I will know my 'numbers'. So, in my blog I'll share these, and they will keep me honest.

Today, I weigh 175 pounds (I'm 5'6" tall)
My measurements are:
waist: 34.5"
hips: 40"
bust: 40"
hamstring: 24"
calf: 16"
bicep: 11"

These numbers I will update regularly... my weight once a week and my measurements once a month.

Why? I need to be challenged to do something full on, and what is a bigger challenge than to let the world follow my progress?? Plus, if I can challenge one other person to make a positive change for their own reasons (not all the bogus ones the media put out) it will be worth it!!

Wish me luck!!

The priority of drug companies

2008-01-03T12:28:00.000-05:00

Drug makers spend more on marketing than research: study

The above news tells us that drug companies spend twice as much on promoting their drugs as they do developing new ones. Is this surprising? As a researcher that works in a very translational area (translational meaning that the products of my research can become the treatments of the future), I realize that big drug companies aren't the ones that are interested in my research. Typically, the newest and most innovative of new treatments and drug candidates are patented by the researchers (primarily the institutions in which they do their research) and are optioned by smaller biotechnology start up companies. These companies, often in collaboration with researchers, do the majority of the heavy lifting, generating all of the pre-clinical data that allows these treatments to be moved forward into clinical trials. If these drugs are successful, then they are often bought out by the larger drug companies, and their focus is to put the might and money behind bringing the treatment to market.

What people forget is that these COMPANIES are BUSINESSES. For better or worse, their aim is to make money, and lots of it. A drug that is on the market is worth 100 in development, so a lot of money goes into pushing that drug. Is this right, or even ethical? Maybe you should ask yourself why there aren't any new antibiotics, as it is a perfect example of this business mindedness of drug companies. We need new antibiotics... and this is primarily because current antibiotics have been so over prescribed that many bacteria are resistant to all common antibiotics. We now see the emergence of 'superbugs' like MRSA invading hospitals. But are there new antibiotics being developed? Nope... no money in it. Antibiotics are expensive to develop, and you can't charge a whole lot of money for them, and they aren't nearly as profitable as the next impotence drug or any other drug that people will spend a fortune on (because they NEED it) or need to take the rest of their lives.

Potentially, people need to force big drug companies into ethical research. What if we preferentially bought products from companies that devoted money to researching new drugs? What if we demanded of our physicians that same level of ethical prescribing to drugs, forcing them to actually research the drugs and not to prescribe based on the best sales pitch from a drug rep?! Just a thought...

Happy New Year!! Resolutions for 2008

2008-01-01T17:56:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year to all!!

After a significant hiatus, I'm happy to say that one of my resolutions for this year is to get back to blogging regularly.

Looking back, 2007 has been an eventful year. My training was good, and I finished two triathlons. In total, I logged in 75.8 km swimming, 521.37 km running and 1745 km cycling. The swim and running are on par with last year, but I increased my cycling by a whopping 500 km. In the next year, I plan to train more intensely and effectively, and do better in the upcoming races. Training starts today!!

In the work area of my life, I'm doing very well. I hope in the upcoming year to work on getting a permanent position. I know now that I'm ready, and I believe that if I can get my foot in the door, I can get the job!

My personal life is also going well. I've met someone special and its going well. I deserve that, and I'm happy about it!!

My family are well and I'm so thankful for that. It was so special spending time with them over Christmas. The kids are growing up so fast, and are amazing! Can't wait to go home and visit again soon.

Happy New Year to all!!

M.

Motivation: Where art thou?

2007-10-17T10:35:00.000-05:00

So, I've not been blogging that much.

There are a lot of reasons for that.

I'm in a new city and although I do love it here, its all about finding that routine. In a new lab you feel like all the experience that you have is gone out the window and you're the 'new kid' again. I'm finally getting to where I feel OK in the lab. Soon though I will be up to my normal speed there. That has been hindered by residual writing. My last paper was accepted (FINALLY!) and I'm writing a new review. So, lots of writing, writing, writing.

Other than that, my training has gone by the way side. It had kind of scared me to see the gradual growing of my posterior which has scared me back into a more regular training schedule but its difficult because my time management will be different here. There are different constraints on my time now. I have a pool and gym in my building but the pool opens at 10am and the gym at 8am, both of which are way to late to get a workout in before work. So, the only thing I can get accomplished in the morning is running. However, on the up side I love running down by the Rideau Canal and the Ottawa River. Plus, I've gotten another happy distraction, who is also a chef thus contributing to my reason to train more. Soon, soon it will all come together!

Missing in Action... but not for long!!

2007-09-23T12:00:00.000-05:00

So, with the whole move, I've been missing in action for almost a month.

Here is an update.

The MOVE: Overall, went pretty well. I hated the 3 days without furniture, but managed to take advantage of that time to see the city. I also saw "Phantom of the Opera" and it was fantastic. Once all my furniture arrived, I realized that I love my new apartment. The above photo is the view from my bedroom window. FANTASTIC!!

My new city: I really like it here. It's a great city and I'm learning about it bit by bit. I'm surprised how much french is spoken here. The transit system is quite good.

My new job: Slowly settling in. I have been able to use that time to catch my breath after the craziness of the summer. Soon, it will pick up again.

My training: Ah... September to December I suffer from a swift downshift in motivation. Rough. I'm trying to get back into it and fit it in my routine. Slowly but surely.

What's next... Well this week I get to go home for the first time since May. Really looking forward to spending time with family, and we're doing the CIBC Run for the Cure. I can't wait.

Now, you're up to date!!

Bye-bye London

2007-08-30T09:51:00.000-05:00

So today is my last real day in London. Tomorrow the movers come and on Saturday I fly out. So tomorrow will be too hectic to count. I'm at work, finishing up the last of what I had set out for myself. I'm pleased (and amazed) that I was able to finish up all my projects here before I set out. I've kept myself so busy that I haven't really thought about the fact that I'm actually leaving. My plans have never been to stay in London, so I guess a part of me never got attached, per se. However, I have had the opportunity to meet some amazing people during my 3 and a half years here, and those people I will miss dearly. However, I realize that the truly important people will remain in my life, just from afar. I guess that moving within in the same province its easy for me to visit when I miss these people near and dear to me.

All in all, I think that my time in London has been an immense learning and growing time for me. Professionally I have come in to my own, and I now have a new focus and confidence about my research and my ability to succeed. Personally I learned a lot about what I am looking for in life, and what I'm not going to put up with in my search for happiness. I have learned to be content in my own skin, and have sought out ways to build a better, happier and stronger me. I think the woman who goes to Ottawa is much different from the girl who came to London.

So, thanks city!!

Speeding up and Slowing down....

2007-08-20T13:23:00.000-05:00

I've been neglecting to blog lately.

Mostly because since my last race, I have been taking a pretty complete break from training. I'm giving myself until September to rest up and then get back into a normal schedule again. Therefore, in that way, I have slowed down.

However, I'm also now up to my ears in my move. Less than 2 weeks away now. I'm living with tons of boxes. Oreo found the above one over the weekend and has taken up residence. I guess they don't want me to forget them!! Like I ever would.

I'm also desperately trying to clue things up in the lab. I have gotten my comments back from my papers and have send one back already. The other one needs more 'tweaking' and I'm in the lab a lot trying to finish up. Crazy!!

Serenity now!! I'm stressed.

Bellwood... by photos

2007-08-07T13:16:00.000-05:00

Here is a pictorial view of my race this weekend.

Just before the race, I stand at the edge of the water, thinking.... I THINK I CAN!!!

Then I test the waters and get a practise swim in...

This is me running into transition after the swim.

And then I'm out on the bike for 34k.

And I'm back.... Now to run!!

And here I am at the finish!!

Now, you've seen it all!!

Bellwood Race Report...

2007-08-06T07:53:00.001-05:00

So, yesterday I did my second triathlon of the season at Bellwood Conservation Area, just outside Fergus, Ontario. I've been blogging about my nervousness on this one, as its my longest yet. 1k swim, 34k bike and 7k run. Well, for me, it went really well!! I was very happy with my performance. Here are the stats:

Swim: 29:33 (2:58/100m)
Transition 1: 1:59
Bike: 1:14:31 (27.4 km/hr)
Transition 2: 2:02
Run: 45:49 (6:33/km)

I was scared about the swim, but the day before I went to the beach with Steve, Danielle and Muggs and we practised swimming there, in huge swells. That really worked out my nervousness. If I could swim there, I could do it anywhere. Thus, after a good warm up, I had a good swim. No panic, very comfortable.

Without a wetsuit I had a quick transition and on the bike. The course was very hilly. Man, so hilly. Every time I thought I was over the last hill, up comes another one. I thought I was really slow on the bike, but now looking at the time, I'm happy with how I did.

After another quick transition I was off and running. I was fairly tired, but still feeling OK. It was a slow run, but I didn't stop and I felt good at the end. My overall time was 2:33:55 and I was 14/15 in my age group (F30-35).

In comparison with a lot of people, these are slow times. This race had a lot of pro and elite athletes so in comparison, I was a turtle. However, I went out on the race with a single focus: RUN YOUR OWN RACE. I did better in all three events in comparison to any race I've done so far, despite longer distances. I'm very happy and now a day later (and a 12 hour nap later) I'm not nearly as sore as I could be.

What I've learned is that now I have the confidence to run the race and finish it, I can now afford to push myself harder. The above picture is the 'Champion Group' who participated in this focus race. More pictures to come!!

Flooding in Newfoundland

2007-08-01T14:18:00.000-05:00

I am from a small town - Blaketown, Newfoundland. Population about 700. Not often do I find Newfoundland in the news... For all those who care, this is where it is....

It is rare to hear of Blaketown, Newfoundland in the news, but today, it is because of this.. Tropical Storm Chantalle dumped record rainfalls, and the area that contains my hometown was the hardest hit. After talking to my parents, and hearing their stories of flooded basement (despite active pump), and water filled kennels (luckily, Dad saved puppy Hershey from the rising waters to the comfort of our house) and a sunken boat that we couldn't get to because Old Shop (where my grandparents live) is virtually cut off from the rest of the world due to a washed out bridge. Amazing. Here are some pictures sent from friends and family...

This is about a kilometer from my house..

Notice what all that swirling water can do...

This is the bridge in 'Holiday Hill' a campground not far from my house.. Completely wiped out...

This is about 3km from my house (can you tell I do a lot of running at home, since I'm pretty confident in the distances). It is usually bordered by a small brook that obviously swelled after about 80-100mm of rain overnight...

Finally this is the one road that connects Old Shop to the rest of the world. Crazy. I have heard that boats and helicopters are on stand by in case of an emergency because no one is coming out of there today.

The main thing is that so far, there haven't been any reports of serious injury. Water, although unusual in these quantities, isn't new to the Rock. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone at home...

July Training Totals

2007-08-01T10:03:00.000-05:00

Swim: 14.7 km
Cycling: 256.2 km
Running: 63.6 km

Overall, I'm happy with the amount of training I did for July. I made a concerted effort to work as hard as I could to make myself prepared for this race in Bellwood on Sunday. I'm as nervous as hell, but I'm content that I did all I could to prepare myself. Wish me luck!!

Dissappointed but not surprised...

2007-07-24T14:50:00.000-05:00

This is the news today

Basically, Vinokourov was found blood doping.

What?! The Tour de France, remember? Vino was doing an inspiring, if not win worthy job. Early in the race, he was in a spectacular crash, and was riding with stitches in both knees and one elbow. Everyone had written him off. Then he comes back out of no where to win a sprint stage... Then the next day, he falls of the end. Then the next day he wins a stage again. Oh, the drama. I was actually thinking how strong and resilient this guy was, and how I was sorry that I didn't pick him for my pool. Then, he gets caught using someone else's blood. OK, so he was in 23rd place. So what...

Well I have come to love cycling, and the Tour de France. I hate that to be good, you have to use chemical or biological extras. That pisses me off. It puts every rider who doesn't at a distinct disadvantage to those who do. That's sad.

Is this about the TDF? Nah, every sport has its doping and its come to light in this race because they've made a pact to jump on it, thereby testing far more than other sports. You think there isn't doping in hockey, baseball, basketball or any other professional sport? Get your head out of the sand.

So, what is sport teaching those who love it? That you need to cheat to win? That the nice guy finishes last? If that's the lesson, we need new heroes. We need new people to look up to. And we need to stop rewarding the cheats.

Today.

Monday morning - back to the bench

2007-07-23T09:16:00.000-05:00

On Friday I finally submitted my manuscript. Now all I have to do is wait and worry about the reviews. Over the weekend, I proceeded to abuse my body in the name of training for Bellwood - 54k on the bike on Saturday and 10k run on Sunday. Also on Sunday I headed downtown to enjoy the Folk Festival. It was actually nice just to be out and among people for a change. I love to people watch. I also got a nice little sun burn for my efforts. And I had a lovely dinner at a friends house. An all around good weekend.

So, today starts a new week. One where I'm not writing. This is quite the departure for me. I have been writing steadily for over a year- 3 research manuscripts and 3 review articles. To not be writing is very strange for me. So, I get to do what I really love - experiments at the bench. I'm in a big time crunch, to get experiments done before I leave. However, with most of my major projects under review, this is somewhat extra. If it works outs great... If not, its not a major stress. I'm looking forward to it.

Cheers

Why being a postdoc is so difficult...

2007-07-19T11:17:00.000-05:00

I found this article today, written in 2002, by Dr. Johnathan Yewdell, a scientist at the NIH (National Institutes of Health, in Maryland, USA). From what I have heard, Dr. Yewdell is an excellent scientist, and an excellent mentor. He so eloquently sums up what the issues of being a postdoctoral fellow is, and why it is so difficult.

So, for those of you who feel that once you get your PhD, you're off and running into a lucrative career, read the article. If not here are some of the highlights;

1. Postdocs are often referred to as trainees; if this were true, we would have training periods much longer than any profession (say, neurosurgeons) at about 15 + years!

2. Postdocs are often the most skilled workers in a research lab, and are often plugging in 60+ hour work weeks, but received at times almost poverty level wages, living in some of the highest cost-of-living cities where the biggest academic centers are.

3. The lions share of credit for the work of postdocs go to their mentor, and the bulk of any financial proceeds go to the university, who often fail to even recognize their existence within the university setting.

4. Most mentors fail to acknowledge that even though they use the 'I did this too' reason, they often received their first tenure track job 10 years younger on average than today's postdoc.

This is an EXCELLENT article... Published 5 years ago. What has changed since then? Not a lot. Sadly.

To postdocs, I urge you. Stand up, and get involved!

THE most frustrating part of SCIENCE

2007-07-18T10:09:00.000-05:00

Science is a strange world. It's all about finding something new and exciting, and you spend all of your time focused on that. However, in the end, that finding is useless until it is published. Publishing a paper is no where near as easy as it sounds. You have to write up the results in a highly structured manner, that is often dependent on the journal that you want to submit to. The journal selections is based on something called impact factor, which is basically a measure of how many people will read it. The bigger the impact factor, the harder it is to get in, but the more lucrative it is for your career. Its a publish or perish world - your productiveness is based solely on your ability to publish - publish often and publish well. Anyone who tells you different, well, don't believe them.

So, no project is done by one person. The person who does the lion's share of the work, writes it up, but there are often multiple 'authors' (see above picture). The first person writes it all, and then sends it to everyone else for comments. I find this very frustrating. As the first author, you put your blood, sweat and tears into it, only to hand it over to someone else who has a pile of 'ideas' for how you can make it better. They are always (almost always) meant to better the paper, but its disheartening to have someone else come in and pick apart your work. Although in the end, it makes it so much better, its a very painstaking exercise, and the best way to do it is suck up your own ego and just make the changes.

Then you submit the paper, and for it to be accepted for publication, it has to be reviewed. This is peer review - people who are in pretty closely related fields take the paper and pick it apart even further. They determine if you have 'sold the story' and if its interesting enough to be published. This is nerve wracking, as the reviews almost always come up with things they want you to do or explain to make it 'acceptable'. Reviewers comments (see below) are often scathing, and you want to be snarky back. But you suck it up and try to hit a happy medium. If you're lucky, it then gets accepted, and several months later, is published. Then its job done.

This is what your career is based on. I'm wondering if academics are intrinsically sadistic - to make such a frustrating experience tantamount to career progression. Maybe its the way to cut the field... IF you can survive this, you're suitable to be a career academic. But man, it sucks!!

Stick figure, I am not...

2007-07-16T08:49:00.000-05:00

It's amazing what will annoy you on a Monday morning. I got up early to go swimming, and EVERYTHING hurt. So, I went back to a bed with a promise to myself to swim later in the day when the aches and pains work themselves out. So when I did get up and get dressed, I realized, much to my dismay, that my clothes don't fit!! Now, I've always been a curvy girl, and in the summer when I'm training in earnest, I usually drop about 10 pounds. No problem. However, now my clothes are generally lose in the waist and tight around my legs! This annoys me. I don't have huge muscular legs, they are pretty normal. It's just another sign of how clothes are generally made for people who are stick figures. Well, screw that.... We need a revolution!!

New member of the family

2007-07-15T18:52:00.000-05:00

We are welcoming this new member to the clan. This little puppy is the only surviving member of a litter born to my parents dog Bobbi. It was a very unexpected litter, and if you recall, Bobbi was the dog that went wayward with Mini when I was home. So, there was some worry about the puppy parentage. However, as you can tell, it looks pure Beagle. I took a look at this picture and thought that the dog should be called "Hershey" due to her chocolate colouring. The other name we're throwing out is XFL2. That requires a bit of explanation. A couple of years ago, we had a litter that also faded, meaning there was 6 puppies born and they all died and only one survived. That puppy we were calling XL for extremely lucky... My brother added the expletive starting with F (you figure it out). So, this little one is the sequel. In any case, I can't wait to see how cute this little one is going to be... Beagle puppies are the cutest things in the world....

Biking with leaden legs

2007-07-15T18:46:00.000-05:00

On the weekend, I have to sometimes convince myself to work out. I have been training pretty steadily since January, so by this time of the year, my body is tired. We didn't ride with the group yesterday, so I did a 7k run instead. Today was my day to ride, and I suffered through 20k. As I was riding I was thinking about how much everything hurt. My legs, my knees, my ELBOWS... Just one of those days. Three weeks away from my goal, and then a much needed break. Maybe I'm just getting old. The above pic is me from the 15K ITT last year. I have another one this Wednesday. Wish me luck.

Going green can have short term benefits too...

2007-07-13T08:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I went to get some groceries and I saw the above bag at my local Loblaws. I have considered using cloth bags instead of plastic before. However, I have found that I reuse the plastic bags as garbage bags, and cloth bags that I've seen never seemed to hold that much, so I'd have to bring just as many cloth bags around to get my groceries home. But for some reason, yesterday I decided to give it a try and bought 2 bags. Maybe it was because I thought they looked nice, maybe because they were only a dollar each, maybe because my mind was ready to make a change. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I had made a fantastic decision. Environmentally, these bags are made from recycled material, and keep a lot of plastic out of our environment. Practically, they are great! They are deceptively large - the store says they hold the equivalent of 4 plastic bags, but I think it might be more. I got everything I bought yesterday in the two I bought. In addition, they are much easier to move around. I don't have a car and cab it home, and these bags are easier to get into cabs, and certainly much easier to get up 4 flights of stairs to my apartment. I'm sold. Not just because I'm concerned about the environment, but because this is actually a better system for me. I wish I had done it sooner. I think sometimes we get stuck in one way of doing things, and it takes just trying something else. Going 'green' doesn't always have to be a sacrifice, sometimes its an improvement.

look at the size of that thing!!

2007-07-11T09:58:00.001-05:00

Looking for something to blog on today, I went to the news. Nothing in particular caught my interest until I saw this article in the 'diversion' section of CBC.

http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Oddities/070711/K071102AU.html

Its a story about a 'whopper' giant squid that washed up onto the shore in Australia. This beast was as long as a bus and weighed about 550 pounds. Crazy.

I've always been fascinated by giant squid. Growing up in Newfoundland, they are certainly the thing of lore. Everyone has a story of an encounter with a squid, big or not. A particularly funny one from my family was when my big brother got 'inked' right in the eye by one, when he was just a wee chap. But that was only the normal sized one. Still, always a funny visual. I wish I had a picture of that.

The largest giant squid ever recorded washed up on Newfoundland on November 2, 1878. It was 55 feet long, and still holds the record as the biggest ever recorded. The photo above is a replica of that squid in Glovers' Cove, NL. I've never been there, but now I want to go see it. I did my Biology degree at Memorial, and one of the stories that sticks out from my whole undergraduate career was told by Dr. Pickavance, who lectured Invertebrate Biology. Supposedly the eye from that Giant Squid caught off of Newfoundland was preserved and now lives in the bowels of the Biology Anatomy labs. Dr. Pick (as he was known) told us that he's seen it, and its seen him... Squid eyes are notoriously large, and this eye is humongous!!! He said that it creeped him out - that no matter where he went in the room that eye was following him. I've always wanted to see that, and I never did, not even when I was a TA in that course... Maybe someday.

Men in Spandex: My addiction to the Tour de France

2007-07-10T09:10:00.000-05:00

I admit it - I'm addicted to the Tour de France. Before I took up cycling, I was only minimally aware of this race and mostly through the whole "Lance Armstrong is God" media circus, that I completely don't buy into. But then I took up cycling myself and last year our group had a 'pool' on our message board predicting winners. I got into watching it. And despite all the hoopla about doping last year (as Landis is fighting doping "allegations", last years winner is yet to be decided) I jumped into the pool this year. And I started to watch.

The above pic is from the prologue. A time trial. 7.9 km through the streets of London. This guys above, Fabian Cancellara, did it in 8'50". Think about how fast that was. It was incredible!! I'm hooked.

OK, for those who don't know, here is a synopsis of the Tour de France, by the numbers:

3 weeks
20 stages
3550 km (Take a second to take that statistic in)
189 riders (yep, all in spandex)
and 2 REST DAYS.... OK are they all nuts?!

I can't think of a more grueling event. Ironman must come close, but that's over pretty quickly. And its pretty cool to watch. You never know when there will be a crash (if you missed it, yesterday -Stage 2- had a pretty spectacular one), or a big break-out ride. I'm of course cheering for my picks, but quickly learning the names that should have been on my list.

Oh and there is the fact that these are 189 men in top physical form. Damn! Spandex never looked so good. OK, maybe I do need to get out a bit more, but things are busy. I can live vicariously through the TDF.

If you get a chance, check it out. Be careful, you'll get hooked too!!

Live Earth: Did anyone get the point?!

2007-07-09T14:12:00.000-05:00

So, I watched the Live Earth Concert... Well, probably watched is too strong a word. it was on for 29 hours, I caught bits and pieces of it while I lived my life. If you watched all of it, well you either deserve a medal or some friends.

It has gotten me thinking though - did anyone get the point? I think the image that will forever stick with me was the cleaning crews after the concerts picking up all the garbage. OK, people. The concert was about saving the earth from pollution. At least, on that day, you could make the effort to pick up your litter!!! This is where I see the disconnect. I often consider the whole issue of global warming here in London. Just last night I went out for a run. I had to wait until almost 8pm to go because of the heat, and it was still well into the 30's when I went. The air quality in London stinks - we get all the manufacturing smog from Ontario and our neighbours from the south. I've always been very healthy, but on days like this I have a headache and my breathing is difficult, and on a run, its a killer. But I'm running in this beautiful city, and I look down and I see garbage on the ground. If we can't convince people to take the effort to throw trash in a garbage can, how are we going to convince them to recycle, and compost and 'flick' off? Are people just that fundamentally selfish?

They say we don't inherit the earth from our parents, we rent it from our children... That statement sticks with me. I love my nieces. I want them to be able to run outside. So, I'm going to do all the little things that may take the extra time. Recycling, turning off, using less.

Cheers!

Giving the Gift of life.

2007-07-06T13:15:00.001-05:00

I haven't blogged a lot in the past week. I've come down with a nasty cold, I've been stressed about getting manuscripts out the door, and I've been dealing with the lost of our dear friend and fellow cyclist. The former has gotten me thinking a lot about organ donation, and how circumstances in my life in the past year keep bringing me back to it.

I have had 4 major circumstances in my life that keeps my mind coming back to organ donation. In my research, I study the use of a drug called rapamycin (also known as Rapamune). This drug is licenced for use in transplant patients, and is an anti-rejection drug. This drug also has anti-cancer activities, which is why I've been using it. Most of the great findings I have had in my postdoctoral studies have revolved around this drug. It is in using this drug that I got to know the lab next door, the lab of Dr. Bob Zhong. He worked in transplantation for most of his scientific career, and although I was not close to him, every interaction I had with him was positive. He always had time to chat about what you were doing, and when you passed him in the hall, he always had a smile. It is ironic that just as I was finishing up my first manuscript on my rapamycin work, he passed away from lung cancer. I dedicated that manuscript to his memory. He has been missed.

My friend's death this week is the obvious third connection. He had received an organ (his heart) and when it failed this past week, he donated his organs. This full circle moment is so typically him. He will be missed in such a profound way in our cycling group, that I'm not sure any of us truly realize that his is gone yet. Maybe in a lot of ways he is not, because he has passed on his helpful spirit and unfailing optimism to us. I know that the next time I'm struggling, I will hear him as I did at my last race saying "Come on Marianne, you're looking great!!".

The last connection is by far the closest to me. Almost a year ago, my cousin and his wife had baby Cameron. Cameron had an inauspicious entry into the world several months early, weighing in at only 3.5 pounds. As with most preemies, he had complications. His was an infection in his bowels that necessitated removal of over 60% of it. Over several surgeries he has beaten his slim odds, and pulled through every time. He is truly a miracle child. However, it was determined that he will need a bowel (and possibly liver) transplant. He is currently waiting. In the meantime, he continues to beat the odds, and is currently on drugs that have been helping him considerably. But he will not be leaving the hospital where he has spent his entire young life unless someone who will face the unimaginable (the death of a child) will give Cam the gift of life. I pray for him and his family. This is a pic of us in May...

So, all this has gotten me thinking. What can I do? I can urge everyone to consider giving this gift. Please sign your donor cards, and make your decision known to your family, as they will ultimately be responsible for ensuring your wishes are respected. Please think about it.

Here's to you.... Sad day.

2007-07-01T14:43:00.000-05:00

Today I got some really sad news. One of my fellow athletes will be taken off of life support, after a cardiac arrest. This brave man, whom I was lucky to meet through my cycling group, was the recipient of a heart transplant 5 years ago, but it was something I was surprised to learn when I met him last year. What you did learn pretty quickly was what a nice and genuine person he was, always quick with a positive comment and always willing to help. Even this year, when he wasn't feeling his best, he was always out to the group, willing to help in any way he could. I'm so glad that we got the opportunity to toast him a little while ago, and show him in some small way how much he was appreciated.

He reminds us to live our lives to the fullest, and always be willing to be there to help others. He will be greatly missed.

Happy Canada Day

2007-07-01T08:59:00.000-05:00

Happy Canada Day to all.

I consider myself a proud Canadian. I realize that our country isn't perfect, but its not one I would trade for any other one in the world.

In Newfoundland and Labrador, July 1st is also a day of Remembrance, for all of the soldiers who were killed, particularly members of the RNR, the Royal Newfoundland Regiment. So typically, the morning is spent in quiet reflection, and Canada day festivities begin at noon. Little known fact for those of you out there.

Today is a day to be proud of our country. To wear and salute the flag. Celebrate our mix of cultures and beliefs. Much more than a day off work (but that's nice too)

June Training Totals

2007-07-01T08:57:00.000-05:00

These are my totals for June:

Swim: 9.4 km
Bike: 241.3 km
Run: 38.25 km

This month, I skimped on the running to favour more swimming and biking. Overall, I didn't push myself that hard, and I hope to do more in July. Overall, I'm happy with it.

100th post: My next race??

2007-06-29T08:13:00.000-05:00

First of all, this is my 100th post on this blog. Cool eh? Thanks for sticking around and listening to all my ramblings. Hope I don't disappoint.

So, its the end of June and I'm thinking to the rest of my 'season'. Which means I plan to do one more race. This summer, with the move and the stress, two races is a reasonable goal for me. Maybe next year I can be more aggressive.

So, the next race for me will probably be Belwood Triathlon on August 5, 2007. I have chosen this one because it is another 'focus' race for our group. It's comforting to be in that situation with people you know. It will also be my longest race to date. So, I'm a little apprehensive. To date, my longest race was last year's Guelph II which was 750m swim, 30k bike and 7k run. Belwood (strangely still calling it a 'sprint') is 1k swim, 34 k bike and 7k run.

So, the rub with me is the swim. One kilometer, 1000 m. The swim being my weakest event, and open water scaring the willies out of me, this race will be my biggest challenge to date. The bike, I think I can handle, as with the run. But the swim is my nemesis. Thus I have about a month so haul my non-aerodynamic ass to the pool and into open water as much as humanly possible. The gauntlet has been thrown down and its my time to take it up!!! (Cue the dramatic swells of the orchestra).

Realistically, here is my goal. Swim, swim, swim... keep up the bike, as I'm reasonably happy with my progress, and run faster... which means run more.

Stay tuned!

It's official... I'm moving.... !

2007-06-28T15:10:00.001-05:00

I'm back from my apartment hunting mission. After two days of walking around in 38oC heat, I finally found a great apartment. Its not too close to the lab, but only a short bus trip away. Its a great place, with a beautiful view of the Ottawa River. The building seems to have all the bells and whistles. Quite civilized, I must say. Now I have to do all of the moving stuff, but I'm excited to start the process. There will certainly be some people I miss in London, BIG time (you know who you are), but I'm anxious to start a new chapter in my book of life.

Consideration, PEOPLE

2007-06-25T13:33:00.000-05:00

I had intended to blog on another topic, but I couldn't let this one slide. I don't particularly mind travelling, but the one thing I do hate is the inconsideration of others. Today is a perfect example. I'm on the train to Ottawa, looking forward to getting a little bit of work accomplished. So there are at least two things slowing me down. Firstly, the guy sitting in front of me sits in his seat and puts it WAAAY back, so that when my laptop is open, its nearly impossible to see. Fun. Sure, its his right, but it sucks. Then a woman sits next to me. Ok, so here is my other big pet peeve, loud eaters. This woman is one of those, and she's eating almost continuously. She's also on the hefty side, and is obviously having some breathing issues because of it. So when she isn't eating, and trying to read what I'm writing over my shoulder, she's sleeping and snoring. I wish I could just put on my iPOD and ignore it, however, my iPOD is broken.... So I'm a captive audience. For FOUR HOURS!!!! Oh my GOD. Only 2 hours left and my computer is about to run out of batteries...HEEEEELLLLLPPPPP

On being 'self propelled'

2007-06-25T09:55:00.000-05:00

Today I'm travelling from London to Ottawa. I need to find a new apartment. Thus, as the train ride is quite lengthy, and I sprung for wireless Internet, I may blog a couple of times today. I do have a couple of things to talk about.

The first is on being 'self propelled'. That is, I don't own a car. I do drive, and I did have a car for quite a number of years. However, when I moved to London I decided not to buy a car. For one, it was a big expense. I tend to pay that extra bit of rent to be close to where I live, thus I really don't need one. I walk to work, take the bus, and sometimes my friends are nice enough to give me a ride here and there. Then, there are taxis if all else fails. This morning, I was waiting for the bus to take me to the train station. On my busy street, there was quite a bit of traffic for 7am. But what struck me was how many cars had a single occupant. I counted less than 5 cars in the 20 minutes I was waiting, that actually had more than one person. Wow. I guess my thoughts are, we are going to have to change. Either people get it into their head that to justify all of the pollution of a car, they have to do it smartly, carpooling and being more efficient, OR we need to find a solution, smaller, more efficient cars. If 90% of the time, there is only one person in your vehicle, why does it need to seat 6?

When I was offered a job in Ottawa it came with a pay raise and I reconsidered a car. Now I'm thinking the better of it. At this point in my life I only have me to worry about. I'm looking at apartments on good bus routes, reasonably close to work. Parking at the hospital where I'll work will be out of the question. I have a hybrid bike that is perfect as a commuter bike. Why would I buy a car? I think I like the freedom of not owning a car, as counter intuitive as that may seem. I'm not penned in by gas prices, insurance and car payments, parking, and road rage (well, except when as a cyclist, I'm the target). I like the fact that I can put my money into other things (read: wetsuit, bike trainer, etc). So, I think I'll probably stay self propelled for a while longer.

Cheers.

A Challenge to the Province of Newfoundland and Labrador...

2007-06-20T09:22:00.000-05:00

Dear Newfoundland and Labrador;

I am your native son, well actually daughter, but you get the idea. I want to come home. My family is there, and there is nothing more important to me in life than my family. My nieces are getting bigger and I'm missing them grow up. I miss the salt air, the rugged coastline, the calm water, the horrible weather.

My dear province, I have much to give to you. I went to school, and I got a PhD. I now work on ways to help people with cancer. I think I'm just the sort of Newfoundlander that you would want squarely back on the Rock. However, it has yet to happen. I want to be patient, but that's not my nature. If it was, I may have listened to everyone who told me that a little girl from rural Newfoundland should just do something easier.

Our leaders do a lot of talking about 'bringing Newfoundlanders home'. I have heard it, but I have not seen it put into action. I see Memorial University of Newfoundland with very few professors born and raised in Newfoundland, despite the numbers of us that hold PhD's. In the six years I attended MUN, I can count the number of profs that I had that were native Newfoundlanders on one hand. I see biotech companies sprout up and receive massive government funding, yet hire qualified people from 'away' over qualified from home.

There is a provincial government election this year. I want to come home, and I want to enhance the economy of my province. I don't need anyone to GIVE ME A JOB. I have plenty of drive, ambition, stubbornness and talent to get one for myself. All I am looking for is a CHANCE - a foot in the door to my own HOME.

Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

Marianne

Creationism and Evolution: Why I don't consider it a vs.

2007-06-19T10:19:00.000-05:00

So, I'm back to blogging on topics that have me peeved off again. I'm not sure why, but I keep hearing time and time again, the idea of evolution vs. creationism. It's only ever presented as one or the other. No one ever brings in the third choice - that you believe in BOTH!

I'm a scientist. I of course believe in evolution. It's fairly obvious from both nature and the fossil record that creatures on earth have evolved over time and continue to evolve.

I'm also a christian. I believe in the omnipotent power of something larger and more powerful than myself. I believe in a loving and forgiving God who created the universe. No matter how far you go back, there has to be a beginning, and how we began and why remains a mystery. To me, its a mystery of faith.

So, based on the black or white world in which many people live, that seems like a conundrum. How can you believe in both? Well, I did go through that same crisis, when I was a CHILD. When I was young, my mind had not matured to believe that these ideas could co-exist. I was a fairly geeky child, and I recall reading about Darwin and his finches when I was quite young. So, seeing how this didn't quite line up with another book that I had read, the Bible, I went to the foremost authorities on all things - my parents. I remember sitting down with my Mom and asking; how can this be? My Mom's answer to me was simple. Genesis is a book that was written by men based on what was given to man at the time, many years ago. The words of God in the Bible were given to man to help him understand his world in a way that he could comprehend. The statement that she gave me that has always stuck with me, was "What makes you think that a day that is depicted in the Bible is a true 24 hour day that we observe now? What makes you think that He sees time as you do?" I thought about that, I read some more, and thought some more, and then came to the revelation that creation did not have to be an instantaneous process. That in itself, evolution is a miraculous event and speaks to a higher and larger power.

These are my beliefs in a nutshell. I get very frustrated when I get lumped in with people who feel either that evolution is heretic and should not be taught to children, or that religious beliefs are outdated superstition. I believe neither. Education and discussion is the answer. An open mind can see all possibilities and a closed mind sees nothing but limitations.

Have a great day!

Back into the pool...

2007-06-12T08:37:00.000-05:00

OK the rest is over. I think its fitting that my first workout back will be in the pool. As its not open early on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I slept in this morning and will fit it in during my day. That's a good thing, because for some reason I was woken up at 1:30 am and took quite a while to get back to sleep last night, so the extra sleep did me good.

I realize that I've been doing a lot of blogging on my training lately. That's basically because I'm doing two things; training and working to finish. Sadly, that's most of my life these days. I'll try to be more original in future posts.

Feeling rested, bring the next one on!!!

2007-06-11T14:35:00.000-05:00

I spent yesterday and today not working out, and letting my muscles rest a bit. Now, I'm ready to get back to training for my next race. I've learned a lot from my last race, and ready to apply it. Thanks to everyone who has given me encouragement in this quest. I feel like a champion because of you!!

Skill comes from diligence

2007-06-10T08:18:00.000-05:00

The title came from my 'fortune cookie'. It is fitting to explain my first race from yesterday. Here are my times.

My time was 1:26:36 which put me in 171 place overall and 16/16 in my age group. Not stellar, but a learning experience for sure. Last year, all I wanted to do is finish. This year, I want to get better and this race has taught me a lot.

1. Swim (500m) 16:41 (3.21/100m) came out in 185 place
To say I had a a bad swim would be a severe underestimation. I had a TERRIBLE swim. I started, and lost my breath and could never get it back. On the verge of panic, I flailed around a lot. Near the end, I managed to get in a decent breast stroke. Open water scares the hell out of me. Thus, I need to practise a lot of open water swimming if I want to get better.

Transition #1 1:55... That's pretty good

2. Bike (18km) 37:41 (28.7 km/h) came in 148 place
After the swim, I felt I needed to catch up on the bike, and I'm overall pretty happy with this. It shows my progression and some ability to pick it up after the bad swim. I made up some ground here. However, by the time I got off, I was pretty spent.

Transition #2: 1:27... Again, not bad.

3. Run (4km) 28:54 (7.14/km) came in 172 place.
This was really slow for me. I think it was the consequence of going hard on the bike. I was spent. I need to do more brick workouts to help this transition. I know I can run better than this.

So, overall, I have mixed feelings about this race. My 'goal' was to come in under 1:30, which I did, despite my issues. But, I want to do much better. I think it has lit a fire under myself to train smarter and do better. However, I realize that after one year involved, the fact that I get in there and go for it is still a great accomplishment.

Ok, a day or so off and then back to the training again!!!

Tommorrow is race day....

2007-06-08T08:48:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow is my first race of the season. I just got an email from my cousin who sent these photos. This one stuck out to me. As anxious as I am about the race, I have to remember why I started training for triathlon in the first place - to challenge MYSELF. How I do only reflects my own accomplishment. Finishing is my own reward. In a race with so many other people that fact sometimes gets lost. I was the one who picked up swimming and cycling at 30, and running at 25. Besides, I'm fully aware that when it comes to myself, there is no comparison, for better or worse. So I need to stop worrying about what in the mirror and remember that being unique is in itself is a gift.

Wish me luck!

My results from last nights, 10k ITT

2007-06-07T10:38:00.000-05:00

Last night my cycling group did its first individual time trial. Basically, you go as fast and as hard as you can for 10k and then they rank your times. Just you and the clock. Well. I was a little anxious. Firstly, my legs weren't what I wanted to them, which was my fault because I ran the night before and swam that morning. However, I have a race to prepare for so it got the most of my attention. But I gave it my best shot!! I came in at 20 minutes and 19 seconds. Not bad, considering. There was 15 women who did the ITT and the times ranged from 16:07 to 21:31, so I'm a ways away from being fast, but I'm not at the bottom either (I actually was 11 of 15 in case you were wondering). In comparison, the times of the 23 men who participated ranged from 14:20 to 18:37, and Steve came in at a more than reasonable 16:30. He was also the only person to pass me. It was a very valuable learning tool for me coming up to a race. I realized that I didn't push hard enough... As those who did basically wanted to puke coming off the bike... I'll push harder next time. I also learned that I'm far better than I was last year, and there is no where to go but up! Bring on the race on Saturday! Enjoy the pic of me at the end!

A year is so long, and yet so short...

2007-06-06T08:33:00.000-05:00

A year ago today, I lost my grandmother. It's hard to believe it sitting here, but a year ago I was sitting in Indian Wells, California, a world away from home. Just after I had arrived there, I had heard that my Nan was in hospital. She fell into a coma that she never came out of. The whole situation was surreal. I was at my first Poxvirus conference, at one hand meeting some of the biggest scientists in my field. On the other hand, my heart and mind was 5387 km away with my family. It was one of the hardest things of my life. Luckily, my supervisor arranged for me to go home immediately, and I flew from there straight home. In the interim, I don't really recall what I did. I look at the pictures I took that day of the scenery, and I don't remember taking it. I know I talked to friends, but I don't remember who and what they said except they did their best to help me. Well, with the exception of one person who I had expected to be supportive, yet wasn't. I guess its when the stakes are high that you find out who really cares about you. I don't remember the flight, I just know that I got home. It's funny what your mind will do for you. A year later, I miss my grandmother immensely, but I really feel that in many little ways she is looking out for me. Just this morning walking here, I passed a lilac tree, its petals slowly fading. As I walked by a single petal fell in front of me, catching my eye. It was like a small sign that she was still there. Today will not be easy, but it is the smallest of things that comfort me.

The above photo is one of my grandmother and grandfather not long after they were married, in their garden where the lilac trees are. I think that they are like this together still. And that is how it is suppposed to be.

Man, I HATE writing!!

2007-06-05T10:22:00.000-05:00

I hate writing. I hate having to write. Put me in the lab and I can do the most inane task for hours, but asking me to put all that data into a paper, and all I can think is I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!!!! However, I need to. It is an evil I must conquer. I must finish writing these papers. I find myself finding all kinds of new ways to distract myself. The Internet, mostly. However, I must persevere!! Wish me luck!

Getting back into it...

2007-06-04T09:57:00.000-05:00

I didn't blog a lot last week, as I was up to my ears. A friend of mine got married so between the Bachelorette and the wedding, I was wiped. I realized that I run myself in a pretty tight schedule, and when I move outside that, its like a house of cards. By Saturday I had exhausted myself, and needed to crash for a day to catch up. Finally today, I could start back on my normal schedule again in earnest. That's kinda comforting. I guess I really am a creature of habit. Needless to say, it was a lot of fun, but now I'm back to the mountain of work that I have to complete. Yipee skipee...

Triathlon Training Totals for MAY

2007-06-01T08:50:00.000-05:00

Swim: 8.9 km
Bike: 199.5 km
Run: 67.74 km

This month has been pretty good, getting into a good groove. With my first race coming up, I'll know if pushing myself a little has paid off. Still a little lower than I would have liked, but on the up side, I have really listened to my body.

Boy hunts massive pig... Wow.

2007-05-29T15:53:00.000-05:00

So today I find this on the Internet. An 11 year old boy in Alabama hunts and bags this massive hog. Weighs in at over 1000 pounds. Wow. I was speechless. I had to show the picture because this thing is huge! I had no idea that pigs even made it to this size. I got the link to a website that the boy's father set up about it (notice its on the photo should you want to take a look). I was curious and went in for a look. I grew up in a family that hunted, so I have no moral objection to it in the least. My dad and brother always did, and they hunted for food, not the pleasure of killing. We ate what they brought back, and in most cases it was the better meat than could be bought. So, that's my bias. I don't feel that makes me some kind of redneck. I don't personally hunt, but have in the past taught marksmanship to cadets, and have learned that marksmanship is a valuable skill that is not about killing or injuring but teaches confidence and discipline and focus. When I went onto this website, the dad had posted some of the negative comments (as well as positive ones)that people have sent him and his son. These are vile and sadistic letters to be written to a 11 year old boy. They are personally insulting and wish him great harm. That makes me mad. Humans have historically been hunters and gatherers. I don't see how someone who hunts is a bad person. The hunted animal has lived a full life in its natural habitat and hunters often (but not always) take care to humanely hunt and kill these animals. I also took offense to the line drawn between hunters and people who choose to go into a school and kill people. That is simply ridiculous. How is hunting that more cruel than the purpose of 'farming' animals to butcher? Those animals grow up in artificial and managed facilities, and still die. Meat does not end up in a grocery store magically. Again, to those who are vegetarian, I understand you believe all meat is wrong, and I again, respect your right to believe that, and personally do not agree. But again, I don't see how threats and insults prove any one's point. I mean why pick on a child doing a legal activity, while people admire and pay money to see coked out, drunk stars in Hollywood drive around in expensive cars and potentially kill people because they are too stupid to realize that they don't own the world. And to the kid, that is something to remember for the rest of your life. Wow.

Comforting Fatigue...

2007-05-28T08:02:00.000-05:00

I usually don't blog that much on the weekend. Most would assume that's because I'm taking that time to rest. Well, no. My weekends have a tendency to be busy and tiring, which isn't always bad, but sometimes isn't good either. Let me outline my weekend. Friday night I went out for sushi (I LOVE sushi) and when I got home, I was so wiped and head achy that I lay down a fell asleep. Early. And basically headed to bed. Wild Friday, eh? Saturday morning the training group did a 'brick workout' (= bike and then run right after as in a race), and well I learned that I love my group(most people were very supportive of me, thanks guys) and I rode with a group from start to finish for 30k and then ran almost 6k at my race pace. Cool. Went for brunch, then home for a bit. I needed a nap, but read instead. Then got ready to go to my friend's surprise birthday party. That was a lot of fun (and some serious food) but by like 9pm, sadly I was tired and went to bed (see a pattern here?). Sunday was church, then lunch, then the lab. Then to a BBQ (again fun and food) and home early and guess what? I curled up with a good book and slept fairly early. However, 6:30 am came too fast... Sad. But that being said, its Monday again, my weariness is both familiar and comforting. This upcoming week will be busy, with my friend's bachelorette and wedding. And training. And work. And writing. And, well all the other million little things you have to do. However, I think I can schedule myself a nap at some point.... Just another day in the life of an overworked, underpaid, typical Type A postdoc.

Cheers.

Well, nice to know this now.....

2007-05-25T13:46:00.000-05:00

National Science Foundation: Science Hard

INDIANAPOLIS-The newly discovered 'Law Of Difficulty' holds true for all branches of science, from astronomy to molecular biology.

The bittersweet smell of Lilacs

2007-05-25T08:20:00.000-05:00

After some warm weather, here in London the lilacs are blooming. Lilacs are my favorite flower, and have been my whole life. I'm not exactly a 'girly' girl but lilacs have strong childhood memories for me. My grandparents house had (and still has) a group of lilac trees similar to those shown in the picture that I downloaded from Conception Bay. The blooming of those trees always signalled the beginning of summer for me. Everyone in my extended family would have some in their house, and it would make that scent go throughout the whole house. As smell is probably the predominant trigger for memories in my life, that smell of lilacs reminds me of home, and of my grandparents in particular. Its a smell that signifies unconditional love and support, and this year smelling the lilacs is particularly bittersweet, as in the past year I've lost my maternal grandparents. I like to think that the smell of the lilacs will bring me that little bit closer to them, in memory. If only for a second. It makes me sad and happy all at the same moment. Now that they are blooming here, I fully intend to make an effort to have some in my house.

Why do some people get off by putting others down?

2007-05-24T10:07:00.000-05:00

Today, I am pissed off. I was upset on my group ride on Saturday, but now I'm rotted. Let me explain. I have found that my group rides have been really beneficial in making me a better cyclist, and by in large helpful and social. However, I found the last ride really frustrating because I kept getting dropped. I'm a lot faster than I was last year, but I guess some of that group is also. It's an 'intermediate' group, so there a lot of people who aren't new, but not exactly experienced either. The purpose of a group ride is to keep everyone in the group. OK, got that. I got dropped, repeatedly. Now if there had been a slower group for me to pick up with, I would have done that. But there wasn't so I was alone. At first I thought I could catch up, but the group was just going too fast for me to do that. However, in a good group, the group would have noticed and helped. That being said, I should have spoken up but didn't before I got too far behind. So by the end, I was frustrated. I wrote about it on the groups message board, saying that I totally see how I should have been more vocal, but also that the group should get together to help the riders, especially if they have no group to fall back with. Many of the other riders in the group had helpful things to say, and one of the ideas was that if there wasn't a slower group to catch riders who drop then that group is responsible for them. I also realized that more experienced groups don't drop people, yet endeavor to keep them up. OK fine. But of course, just when I thought that my post may actually help people, I get this idiot (experienced, fast rider, but idiot nonetheless) who I had previously respected, telling me that really it was all my fault and should quit complaining. Well, that pisses me off. I'm no expert, but I didn't receive any help either, and I think being a part of a 'training group' (group, being the opportune word) members of the group should be aware and supportive. This guy just wanted to cut me down. It's so unlike the usual experience from group riders, but also shows me the stupid, petty, elitism of some 'athletes' who feel only the best should come out. Bullshit! Luckily, I've decided (after a ride by myself out on my hybrid) that his opinion doesn't matter to me. I'll find a group from now on to ride with who will be supportive, and I believe those people exist. And I won't ever let someone be dropped, period. If that makes me less of an 'athlete' so be it - but it will certainly make me a better person.

My first Tri of the season is coming, am I ready?

2007-05-23T10:25:00.000-05:00

My first Triathlon of this season will be in Lakeside on June 9th, 2007. We will be doing a Sprint Tri, which is 500 m swim, 18 km bike and 4 km run. By we, I technically mean me and Steve, my faithful (although decidedly more speedy) training partner. However, it is also a 'focus' race for my training group, so we'll have the added joy of a familiar crowd. I had intended for Lakeside 2006 to be my first Tri, but as my grandmother died just prior to the race, my trip home (and the bone crushing grief) preempted that plan. Thus, this year will be special for me. However, the question is, am I ready? Well, probably, probably not. I have cut back in my training somewhat in deference of my heart (it was monitored last week, thus the results are pending...). I am doing 6-8 workouts a week, and really listening to my body the best way I can. Either of the 3 events above in isolation aren't much of a problem for me. Together, well I have faith that I can do it. I'm not looking for a stellar finish time, but I now know enough from last year's races to improve over those performances. It certainly won't be like crossing the finish line in St. John's last August, with my family there to cheer me on, but with them in my heart and mind, I will endeavour to do my best. As always, my biggest fear is the darkness and murkiness of the open water swim but I am more confident now in my abilities there. My new bike will serve me well in the cycle portion, and luckily, although I'm not a speedy runner, I trust that I am a very consistent one. Stay tuned to see how I make out!!

For all the non-scientists in my life

2007-05-22T09:30:00.000-05:00

I love these PhD (Piled Higher and deeper) comics, that present the life of a grad student (and by extension, us ex-grad students). These two really represent what its like for me. Its about your thesis, your life's work (to date) and those around you.
The first is about people trying to read your thesis. Ha! I actually wrote an extended acknowledgements section because I had a lot of people to thank, and it would realistically be the only thing they could read...

The second is what the thesis actually SAYS. This is funny, and accurate. So, all of the people in my life who are not scientists.... You are not alone is the complete incomprehension of my thesis!! Congrats!

Publish or perish.... Meh.

2007-05-16T14:48:00.000-05:00

The mantra of Science as a career, is 'publish or perish'. You're only as good as the number of papers that have your name on it. Based on this, you'd think that I'd be writing furiously all the time. Nah. I just finished a paper that's gone to my supervisor for revision, so you think I'd take this time to start on the next one, happy that there is another in the pipeline. Meh. Some days I just don't have the energy. I should be doing it. I need to be doing it. I probably will do it after I blog. Some days its an uphill battle ... I have now read every PhD Comic (Piled higher and deeper, from where I lifted the above comic), and caught up on all my email and everything else I can feasibly get away with. Now, I have to write. Ugh. OK.

Sometimes, a song makes you smile...

2007-05-15T19:35:00.000-05:00

... because it really sums up your feelings.
OK, relax, I didn't write these lyrics.
I just really relate to them.
So much so that I could dance everytime I hear them

Makes Me Wonder

Maroon 5

I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry
Feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
After that
Try to get you back

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a f**k about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
So this is goodbye

God damn, my spinning head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I left unsaid
I want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a f**k about

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try (yeah)
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

I've been here before
One day a week
And it won't hurt anymore
You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The words you say don't have a meaning Cause..

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a f**k about you and I...
and so this is goodbye

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you, anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry(Oh no)
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye

Genetics is cool... and yet....

2007-05-14T11:03:00.000-05:00

One of the coolest things is watching my nieces get bigger. It reminds me of the wonderful nature of genetics. I have an older niece who is something else. If you'd ask me, she'd be the one who resembles me the most, with blue eyes and dark hair. However, as she gets older, you can certainly see how she resembles her mom too. But since me and my brother have a strong resemblance, I can certainly see it in her too. I especially like how she crinkles her nose up when she laughs, which is something I certainly do too.

Then there is my other niece. She is a pistol. One of the funniest things I saw when I was home was how she gets around. She is quite capable of getting up on her hands and knees to crawl around, but instead does a 'combat crawl' down on her elbows and belly as its faster. I got quite a kick out of that. Well on Friday, my mom calls me and she is laughing. They had broken out some of the old videos of us when we were kids, and lo and behold, I was also a fan of the combat crawl!So, genetics is cool. But there is a down side. It now appears that all of their bad habits are being blamed on me!! I had no direct genetic contribution to either of these kids, but whenever my brother or sister discover an unflattering characteristic in their darling girls, they are 'just like Auntie'. How did this happen?? Hmmmm... She likes to get her own way... Just like Auntie... She's so independent... Just like Auntie.... I wonder.

Meh, its all good. They should be as lucky. As should I.

So my first fall on a bike since I was 12!!

2007-05-12T12:48:00.000-05:00

So today we went on our group ride. For the first time ever, I decided to join the 50k group (I have only done 30k before). About half way though we stopped at a corner. I unclipped my right foot and prepared to stop. However, a gust of wind caused me lean to the left, and before I know it, I'm on the ground, looking up! So funny. Supposedly, most cyclists have done this when getting used to the clip less pedals. I knew it would eventually happen to me too. As you can see, I scraped one leg and cut the other on my chain ring. Its pretty sore right now, as is my left elbow, which I also stuck out. Oh, my pride too. Nothing more mortifying than a slow motion fall in front of 20 other cyclists. Luckily, my group was only concerned with me being OK, and I was and carried on with the ride. I figured the bulk of my soreness is yet to come. The good news is that I finished my first 50k ride, and I have plenty of antibiotic cream!!

Paris Hilton: Throw away the key...

2007-05-11T08:19:00.000-05:00

I'm stealing a bit from Steve's blog for the topic, and I have my own rant about it, so I'm going to say my piece too. Paris Hilton. Drunk driving. Jail. Sounds good to me. If you commit a crime, and then get caught driving on a suspended licence, that's illegal and you should be punished. I loved that after she met with all her high priced lawyers, and probably was told that she's not getting away with it, no matter how much money she has, she issued this statement about not being 'above the law':

http://www.tmz.com/2007/05/09/paris-im-not-above-the-law/

I'm so fed up with this. As someone who lost an extended family member to a drunk driver (she and her friend both killed and dragged, and were 15 at the time), I'm sick to see the 'support' for Paris. Why? Because she's rich? Because she's 'cool' (or 'hot' in her words)? Drunk driving is wrong and its stupid. I mean this woman can certainly afford a whole fleet of cabs, limos, private drivers, whatever. But decides to drive after drinking anyway. Come on!! Consider this in comparison to this story out of Quebec today:

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/montreal/story/2007/05/11/qc-methotdeath0511.html

The man who killed this 23 year old woman (not far off from Paris' age actually), was driving on a suspended licence, and had numerous drunk driving convictions. Maybe if someone had been strong enough to make an example of this man and throw him in jail, this young woman's life could have been saved.

I hope Paris takes 5 minutes out of her busy and important schedule of shopping, drinking, and posing to think what could have happened. I hope she does got to jail, and maybe gains some maturity. She is a role model for no one.

Cycling in the spring is quite the adventure

2007-05-10T09:28:00.000-05:00

I think I've mentioned that I have a new bike. Funny, last year I didn't own any bikes and now I own 3 (Two in London, and one at home on the Rock). Last year, just starting out, I decided to buy a hybrid. That got me quickly dubbed the 'mountain bike girl' in my cycling group. To which I would reply.... "Its a PERFORMANCE hybrid". Anyways, I love my hybrid, but this year I went and got a shiny new road bike. Now, I love this machine. I'm so much faster, there is little wonder I got dropped from most rides last year (my group believes in tough love).

So, yesterday we went out for a ride. I made it to the first ride of the year, then missed 2 weeks due to my trip home. So last night we had 'hill' drills. We also had rain that started just as we were about to start. Not ideal conditions for riding a bike I've been on once. I've learned that there are a couple of things about my new bike that I do not love:

1. Clip less pedals: Not sure why they are called this. For non-cycling people these are pedals where your shoe clips directly into it via a cleat. This helps you become one with your bike - quite literally. Getting into these pedals is a real treat for the beginner such as myself (OK any cycling people, stop laughing you were the same). You clip in one, then start riding and then attempt to clip in the other. Seeings I'm also getting used to the decreased stability of this bike compared to my hybrid, I find it challenging, and often by the time I get the bloody thing clipped in, cursing and swearing, I'm far behind everyone else... Ha, but now I'm faster, I catch up.

2. The gears: Again, newer, better gears. Me, not used to them AT all. My hybrid has gears that tells me what gear I'm in. My new bike, I'm supposed to look down and see. Hmmmmmm. OK. I was having a devil of a time last night getting into the 3rd chain ring for the hill drill (purpose: make it hard to go uphill so you work your legs). The problem is that my back gear was too high to change the front one (cross gears). I think now, after some more cursing and swearing, and grinding gears, I finally have it.

3. Soreness: This morning, I was SORE. My legs from the drill, and well other parts too (new seat, use your imagination). Running was fun and slow (only me and my NIKE+ know my real pace). So is sitting here right now, come to think of it. Oh well, that wont' last!

4. The rain: Rain is not a positive thing for road bikes and their skinny tires. Brakes don't work well, so its not so much fun riding in a group, especially ones with novices like myself. So, it was a challenge to say the least

But, you know what..... I DID IT!!! I SURVIVED!!! YEAH ME!

Have a sunny day!

I know its spring because the fish are back...

2007-05-09T08:37:00.000-05:00

That may sound like a strange statement, but on my walk to and from work I pass over two bridges - one over the Thames and one over a smaller stream. I can tell its spring when I can look over the bridge and spot the fish. People tell me they've never noticed, which amazes me. The fish are huge! For me, they're also pretty easy to spot. Maybe I have a special attraction to fish due to Newfoundland heritage (and my love of fishing, and seafood for that matter). I find them so beautiful. I'm also probably jealous that they glide through the water so effortlessly while my I struggle to haul my 4 limbs though the pool. In any case, I take the time to poke my head down and watch them. They are amazing. Spring is here!

My day was going so well, and then....

2007-05-08T08:30:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday I was having a pretty good day. I came into the lab and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was being productive. I had a meeting about postdoc issues and really felt that the people there not only heard me, but supported my cause. I left that and the weather was so nice I didn't mind going to get my grocheries. I hummed my way through the aisles, picking up what I needed, pretty pleased with the world. I came up to the cash, and happily didn't need to wait. I was putting things in the cart and I turned around... and saw someone I had not seen in maybe a year... and could happily do without seeing, standing behind me in line. Someone who I had been dating, and had hurt me rather badly. Now, there is a deer in the headlights moment. It's ironic because that very morning, feeling pretty good about me in my outfit for the meeting, I had been thinking that it would be a good day to run into him, as I thought I looked pretty good, never expecting for a second that I actually would. So, knowing that I saw him first, I tried to ignore the situation. For a long time, all I wanted to do was talk to him, but that time is long past. However, he sees me and looks at me, and says "Hi" like the past didn't happen. Well two can play that game. I looked at him, said, "Hi there", took my grocheries and walked away, my head held high. Not sure it was the right thing, but its the best the situation deserved. But it certainly took the wind out of the sails of a very good day. Last night it deserved some reflection. Today, however, is another day.

Vacation = Blog neglect

2007-05-07T10:26:00.000-05:00

Well I have been in Newfoundland for the past 10 days, which is precisely the reason that I have completely neglected my blog. I intend to explain why.

Rest: The purpose of this trip has been to recharge my batteries. And I did - big time. I had the most easy going trip, and it was exactly what I needed. I didn't plan anything to do, and I still managed to see everyone that I wanted to. Of course, I could have easily spent more time with everyone, but that's how it goes. I feel like I am ready to charge back into the fray.

Family: This is always the best part of being home. I got to relax with my family. I got to spend time with Mom and Dad. I got to see my nieces Gracie and Ally, who are getting so big and so much fun for their Auntie to play with. I got to spend time with my Godchild Lydia and her brother Cole, who are fantastic. I like nothing more than to hear Lyddie chatter on about "Auntie this," and "Auntie that," and nothing is more fun than reading a story on the couch. I got to see all my family and spend precious time with my grandparents. Its pure bliss for sure. There are a million stories to tell right there. The only member of my family I didn't get time to spend with was the family dog, Mini. She ran off the Monday after I returned and 6 days later, just as we had written her off for gone (and were in St. John's depositing me to the airport) she reappears, tired, but none the worse for her journey. That's why she gets the pic in the blog today. I'm so happy she is home!! And, I'm trying not to take it personally.

The BAY: There is so much I could say about being at home in Blaketown, Trinity Bay, Newfoundland, or "da Bay". I guess if you're not from there, its a quaint place to visit. However to me, its home. Being there reminds me of all the little reasons why its so precious to me. Running up the road (there is only really one), and seeing how little things change. Running into people who not only know you for your whole life, but have known you for generations. Seeing that in the face of the saddest days, people always show up and find a way to make everyone smile. People being nice, because that's how they are, not how they 'should' behave. I couldn't help but think that all of the words that people have used to describe me, or I would use to describe myself, such as hard working, loyal, fun loving - those are all things I learned in a small town of around 600 people. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

That is only the tip of the iceberg on why I had a great time home.... Because it certainly wasn't the WEATHER!!!!

April Training Totals

2007-05-02T08:28:00.000-05:00

So here are the totals for April:

Running: 43.22 km
Cycling: 165.87 km
Swimming: 6.95 km

Not the best month I've ever put in, but I've been struggling with what I think was overtraining, then a cold and now my vacation... So, I'm still reasonably pleased with myself. Now that the weather is warmer and the cycling group is started, I think May will be much different. In the meantime I'm enjoying my trip home!!

What I've learned about myself on Facebook...

2007-04-26T10:59:00.000-05:00

So, for the small percentage of the population who has not heard of Facebook - where have you been? I know that some people (namely STEVE!!) has been resisting joining the Crack of the Net, but I'm glad I did. I think I've learned a little about myself in the process.

1. It's a pleasant diversion: I'm not huge on wasting time, but I can do it with the best of them. I like to catch up and look at pictures and generally see what other people are up to. Its fun. I don't do it all day long, but that's mostly because I'm up to my ears in work!

2. Some things just don't seem to matter anymore: In catching up with some people, you tend to think about the reasons you lost contact in the first place. Some times it was just time and circumstance, and you lost touch. In some cases, it was some issue or argument that 'ended' the friendship. I've come to realize that now, in retrospect a lot of those things seemed like they were important at the time (and in some cases, they really were), but now they matter less. Everyone moves on, and there are always reasons that you were friends in the first place, and often that's what matters. We are all older and wiser.

3. I've done well for myself: OK that's a little self serving, but its nice to know that others think you've done OK. We all have days when we feel like maybe we coulda, shoulda, woulda taken a different path. However, I can look in the mirror and say I took the best path for me. That's nice and its cool to hear from others that it seems like you're doing well.

4. Friends are more than a category on Facebook: Although its a nice tool to catch up with people, its superficial at best. At the end of the day, your close friends are your close friends, and it takes more than a message on your wall and an occasional poke to be a good friend. Maybe in its superficiality I am coming to appreciate the people in my life that are there for me when my computer is offline (not that it ever really is...).

5. There are some funny pictures out there of me!: I should have suspected that, but its really hilarious to see.... I've had some kick ass times!

This ends my lesson on Facebook.... Hope you all have a great day!

I've been neglecting my blog because I'm sick!!

2007-04-25T13:12:00.000-05:00

I'm sick. I hate being sick. It's just a stupid cold, but it throws a monkey wrench in everything I'm trying to get done. I'm headed home to the Rock on Friday for my vacation, so there is a ton of stuff that I just have to get done before I leave, and I frankly don't have the energy to do it all. I don't feel well enough to work out, so I'm just not going to. If I do, I'll feel worse. Not sure how long I can refrain though, after two days I'm already getting antsy. So, I think I'll head home early from the lab today and get some sleep. Maybe it will help. Even saying that makes me feel guilty. I'm the worse case of 'presenteeism'; the feeling that you need to be at work, even if you're not well enough to be there. I'm super Type-A and I admit it. But when you're working for yourself, you're the worst boss there is... Or at least I am! So, the good news is that if I'm still sick on Friday, I'll have someone to look after me on the other end... But I am really hoping I'll be better because flying with a head cold seriously sucks. I need my vacation, and maybe this is a way my immune system chooses to tell me that...

Random thoughts in a blog

2007-04-19T13:10:00.000-05:00

I've been very busy the past couple of days, running around like a madwoman. I'm heading home for a visit next week (Yipee Skippee, some time on the ROCK), but before I do I'm doing a lot of work to get there. That means I don't often have as much time to sit and write out my thoughts. So here is a Hodge-podge of some of my random thoughts that I can come up with...

1. OK, what is with middle-aged men in the gym? Who dresses these people? I'm by no means a fashionista, but in the past week, I've seen some older (paunchy) men wearing head to toe shiny spandex, short shorts in neon colours and various other random clothing. I mean, why? Maybe its comic relief, but its perplexing.

2. Why do some people in the pool not read the signs? Lane swimming (in the pool I swim in at least) is set up so that one lane swims clockwise and the next counter-clockwise, so that people in lanes next to each other are not swimming coming at each other when the likelihood of collision (especially arms in the freestyle stroke) is high. Its on a sign, people! Just follow it!! If not, don't get offended when I tell you you're doing it wrong.

3. I got a new bike!! Happy news. I'm no longer 'the mountain bike girl' in my cycling group (its a performance hybrid people!!). Nope, I have a shiny, new, road bike. I hope I'm faster, because now I have no excuses. I do however, have a big hole in my bank account... Funny about that...

4. Does anyone else ever feel like they are digging in quicksand? I'm busy, BUSY. But some days, I don't ever feel like a get ahead. I feel like every time I get a task done, there are 6 tasks waiting. Man, I need a night out... Wait! I'm having people in tomorrow night! Yeah! I'm not ready tho.... Booooo!

5. Somehow, I've been catching up with a lot of people from my past on Facebook. What I'm coming to realize is that I'm not 'normal'. I'm not married with a ton of kids. I'm not settled. I'm not looking as old as some of them. Wow. Makes me think, would I prefer to be more 'normal'? Nope, not for a second. I think if you're content with you're life, whatever the path you choose, that's wonderful. But seeing how others in my high school cohort have done it, really solidifies for me that 'I did it my way', and really I can't imagine doing it any different. I'm happy for them, especially if they're happy with them. I'm just content that I've taken 'the path less travelled'.

OK, I think that's all for now... Wait... I really miss Steve! In the lab. I still see him, and he was instrumental in helping me pick out my bike. But I miss him here. Coffee just isn't the same. But he has a real job and I'm happy for him. I'm also happy that my bike is now at least on par with his... At least... eh, Steve?

Today, I'm taking joy from Nature...

2007-04-17T18:41:00.000-05:00

Today I hear about the deaths at Virginia Tech. Everywhere. And its very sad, sad beyond words. I feel for everyone involved. It hangs on your shoulders like a sad weight. I continue to pray for them.

However, I today look to nature to find my smile. On my way to and from work in the morning, I have to walk across a large feild. It is a source of endless joy. I feel like I'm a female lead in a Disney movie some days. Yesterday on my way home, I looked around the feild. There were robins everywhere. There were also a couple of geese (who I try to avoid, because they love to hiss at you, and damn, they're big!). Then I see a rabbit, who sees me and lopes away. Then I get to see my favorite animal. The groundhog. Man, I love these creatures. Maybe its because I'm from Newfoundland, and being an island, we don't have a lot of these small creatures. No groundhogs, no skunks, no porcupines. The small creatures we do have (squirrels, bunnies) wisely stay out of sight. But the groundhogs here are pretty laid back. They see you and they amble away. This guy yesterday must have been spooked because he hauled some groundhog ass... Which in itself makes me laugh everytime I see it. Once he made it to his hole, he must have figured I wasn't that scary after all because he just sat there with his head stuck out. Very cute.

Sometimes its the little things that bring you back to the world...

What makes someone open fire on a college campus?

2007-04-16T13:53:00.000-05:00

I'm just scanning the news, and I hear about this shooter opening fire at Virginia Tech. Right now they're reporting at least 31 dead, including the shooter.

Man. Scary. What makes someone do that? Go out and kill people in such a random way? Besides the people this person has killed, no doubt he has injured many others, and emotionally scarred even more. It just seems so senseless. I'm out of words on this one.

I'll say a prayer for all of the people and families involved.

How did I ever get a PhD??

2007-04-15T17:40:00.000-05:00

This is the question I ask myself from time to time. I think some days, I take procrastination to a whole new level. Today - for example. I did the normal Sunday things. Got up late, went to church. Ate lunch. Then I sat down to write. Well, I sat down and played around on Facebook. I need to get to 100 friends.... As if that's really important. I know its not, its just a pleasant diversion from the review I'm trying to write. I did write for a bit, and then decided that I needed to go for a run. That was supposed to take an hour, but because I can't seem to judge how far 10 km actually is, I hobbled home an hour and 20 minutes and 13 km later (lay off, I know I'm a slow runner...). Then I was chilled, and need a shower and a cup of tea. Then I needed supper. I'm sitting down now to write again, and guess what? I'm BLOGGING!! About how I can't manage to write. Hello, irony. I'm also thinking that there are some dishes that need to be done. In retrospect, while I was writing my thesis, I did keep up on exercise, and my apartment was spotless. The thesis progressed. It was finished in good time. So, now I will go back to my writing. Or the dishes. Man.....

How we can really support our Canadian Forces.

2007-04-14T13:02:00.000-05:00

I should preface this post with the statement that I hold a commission in the Canadian Armed Forces as a reserve officer. I've been involved in the sea cadet movement since I was 12, and have been a CIC (Cadet Instructors Cadre) officer since 1995. I'm a Lt(N). However, I do not for a second put myself in the same league as those members of the CF (Canadian Forces) who are serving in life threatening situations. Many of my former cadets, however, are. As are many of my friends.

I, like all Canadians, look upon the news of Canadian casualties in Afghanistan as extremely sad news. I feel for their families, and with there was something I could do to ease their pain. The CF members who have died are by in large young, vibrant members of our society who serve with a mission to make the lives of others better. And they have died serving our country. They are supporting a mission, that like it or not, has been supported by Canada. I do get frustrated that once someone has died, the validity of the mission is questioned. We decided as a country to go there, and if you personally do not support it, then its your duty as a Canadian to make that opinion count with your vote. However, again and again our government has decided that Canadians want our forces to participate in this mission. And I feel it is then our duty, as the Canadian people, regardless of our beliefs on the mission, is to support those of us who are there. It is the least we can do for people who are willing to lay down their life for what we believe in. Our society as a whole cannot simply sit back and brag about us being 'peacekeepers in the world' without paying that price. That doesn't simply mean today - that means in the future. My generation has perceived the word 'veteran' to mean old and haggard men who fought in a war that we can only imagine in movies and history books. However, we will soon have a whole new breed of veterans, and I can only hope that we will give them all the respect that they deserve.

I personally salute all members of our Canadian Forces serving in a multitude of missions. You teach the world what it is to be Canadian.

Dashes on the Sidewalk

2007-04-12T09:10:00.000-05:00

It's amazing what you notice on your morning run. This morning, I was feeling rough. By rough, I mean that all the muscles in my body were screaming - DON'T DO THIS TO ME! Alas, I ignored that and went out for my morning run, definitely slowly and with some difficulty. And its raining. I actually enjoy running in the rain. So as I run along past a field I begin to notice something besides the increasing stabbing pain in my left knee - these dashes in the sidewalk. These dashes are actually earthworms making their way across the wet cement. I couldn't help but think "What the blue blazes are these poor creatures thinking". Then I got all philosophical about it. I wonder if they are moving towards something (back to the safety of the grass) or away from it? Then I thought that I should try to avoid stepping on them. Then I thought that they will likely end up an easy meal for the early birds. I actually felt triumphant for one guy who looked as though he found his way back to the safety and coverage of the grass. Who would have considered that random earthworms on the ground would warrant so much consideration. But its also 7:30 am, raining and I'm silly enough to be out running in it. Herein ends my thought for today. Have a good one.

Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed...

2007-04-11T14:44:00.000-05:00

Today was an interesting example of making due. I got up early (6:45am) to go for a swim. I did my swim, even though my calves were KILLING me and since Steve was there, he taught me some drills to improve my stroke (which I sorely need). Then when I had done 1200 m of penance, I'm off to enjoy my shower. I have a locker at the gym so I usually have no problem getting ready. However, this morning, when I went to do my hair I discovered that I had somehow misplaced my comb. How, I have no idea, but this past week has been a bit hectic, so its not unbelievable that I used it and walked away from it. So, I'm sopping wet, hair in all directions with no comb. And I have a meeting with postdocs today.... Hmmm.... Just going to have to make due, I suppose. So I proceed to do my hair without a comb, using my fingers as a poor substitute. Surprisingly, in combination with the blower and my hair straightener, it worked!! Considering I never look particularly polished, you'd be pretty hard pressed to know that today, I didn't even comb my hair!!

Who hasn't felt this way....

2007-04-09T14:31:00.000-05:00

What I've Done

Linkin Park

In this farewell,
There’s no blood,
There’s no alibi.
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousand lies.

So let mercy come, and wash away…

What I’ve Done.
I’ll face myself,
to cross out what I’ve become.
Erase myself, and let go of what I've done.

Put to rest,
what you thought of me.
While I clean this slate,
with the hands,
of uncertainty.

So let mercy come, and wash away…

What I’ve Done.
I’ll face myself,
to cross out what I’ve become.
Erase myself, and let go of what I've done.

For what I’ve done
I start again,
and whatever pain may come.
Today this ends,
I’m forgiving what I’ve done.

I’ll face myself,
to cross out what I’ve become.
Erase myself, and let go of what I’ve done.

Forgiving what I've done.